What would you say if I told you that nearly 50% of all couples that break up, consider dating their ex again? Maybe you’ve been in this situation, or are contemplating it right now. It’s easy to see why dating your ex is an alluring concept. It’s familiar, you have history together, and there was a time where the both of you were in love. In fact, maybe you’re thinking that your whole break up was a mistake - an immature flight of reason and passion that couldn’t be resolved. You think, "Maybe, its worth another try. Maybe, this time it will work."
Many people ask these questions and discover the only way to find out if they made a mistake by breaking up is to try again. They decide to give it one more chance. If you feel that the relationship deserves another opportunity, then you should go for it. However, you should carefully consider the chances of your relationship ending in the same manner, and you might find that making some minor changes in your communication may produce better results.
First, you and your ex should take a close look at what led to the initial break up. What was the reason that caused you to end your relationship in the first place? Also, once you determine that cause, you need to look at whether or not that issue has been resolved. For example, if infidelity was involved, and you two had trust issues and ended your relationship, it may be tempting to get back together after several months apart. Maybe you both locked gazes and felt that old familiar twinge of love in your stomach. After deciding that these are romantic feelings and not just lunch calling, you think back on the old times you shared. You become reminiscent of the past and start daydreaming about the life you could have shared together. Quickly, you begin talking about reconciliation, and try to pick up where you left off. Several months go by, and all seems fine, until you see the woman he had an affair with in the store. Suddenly, all of the feelings surface and your trust level plummets. Now, you are wondering if you should have bothered getting back together in the first place.
The only way to make a relationship with your ex truly work is to deal with the underlying issues that caused the break up in the first place. Relationships are a lot of hard work and energy. Forgiveness takes even more. For there to have been a break up means something occurred; someone’s needs weren’t being met. Those issues have to be resolved or the past will simply repeat itself. If both of you are truly committed to working things out and starting fresh, you may find that it is beneficial to seek the advice of a counselor. Obviously, you had an issue that you couldn’t resolve, that is why you broke up. Now, to get back together without resolving those issues will inevitably lead to failure. Take the time to seek counseling and work through those issues. You can do it together and give your relationship the fresh start that it deserves.
What if we were great together and i broke up with him knowing i was in love but was afraid he would never fulfill his potential? i spent a year away from him and realized I don't care i love him deeply..... now he has a girlfriend and says he would break up with her but he needs time.. what is this needs time for.. he hasn't been with her very long and we kissed i think he's upset but he kissed me.
Shell, you broke him down. emasculated him and he is completely confused by you. You say you loved him. He was prob in love with you too. Guess what, you broke the trust. You need to regain his trust so that he knows you're not going to just crush him again.
I say give him time. let his current relationship run it's course then try again. I just started dating my HS girlfriend from 10 years ago. It may take time. (she broke it off and I didn't have any contact at all with her until a random meeting a month ago. we lit up and haven't left eachother's side since).
Try not to flood him. Don't look desperate. Respect the other girl. maybe date someone else and see if you still long for him. you might just be jealous. Girls want what they can't have. Just because you have remorse for calling it off doesn't mean that you made the wrong decision.
Good luck, happy hunting.
Hi. My boyfriend and I. Are broking up well he told me that he wants to see other people right now.. and have space. I think the problem is that he never had anyone one else to date I was his first girlfriend. He started dating when he was 21 years old.. he has to fiugure things out and I have let him do that even if it hurts me.. we live toghter.
Hi. My boyfriend and I were together over a year now, then he broke up with me saying he is not ready to be in a committed relationship (doesn't want to be with anyone) and that he has too many personal problems. We were talking for a week (he was asking my friends how I was) and then I had a family problem that he found out about. He came to me and told me that he misses me and wants to work things out. I cam back from that family emergency and he said I want to start things fresh, go back to dating. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
My ex and I recently got back together. We have broke up twice. The first time he was afraid I wouldn't be as happy with him as I could be with someone else, so he lied to me and said he cheated. We overcame this and got back together. Then I had a (what I thought to be) good friend of mine tell me he had seen my bf with another girl. So I flipped out and left my bf. Come to find out, it was while we were broken up, and this friend was just trying to start trouble. So we're back together again. But how do I overcome these trust issues? I really want it to work this time, I love him.