← PlanJam.comArchived blog, 2006–2008

Category: Intimacy

Stop Using Sex as a Weapon

by Charisse Van Horn

Sex is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind, however it is often used in ways that can hurt and destroy a relationship, rather than create intimacy. When sex is used as a weapon, both parties of the relationship suffer. Both men and women can equally abuse sex and use it as a weapon against their partner. Women might be more likely to withhold sex when angry, frustrated, or disappointed while men are more likely to use sex as a way to resolve conflicts and issues. Pressuring a woman to have sex when she isn’t consensual is just as damaging as a woman withholding sex to manipulate her partner. Understanding how recognize the signs of using sex as a form of control can help both partners make certain that they treat their sexual intimacy with respect and the reverence that it deserves.

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Men are After One Thing Only, Right?

by Charisse Van Horn

When starting a new relationship, it’s important to determine whether the connection is based upon qualities such as respect and integrity or if it is purely based upon sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is an important factor in all relationships, but it should never be the primary basis for a couple’s relationship. When women wonder if their man is only after sex, they can become very discouraged with the relationship. When women are focusing on love, marriage, and living happily ever after they can become suddenly devastated with the realization that their man isn’t returning the same level of emotional commitment. Here are some signs that can help you determine whether or not your man is interested in you on a deep level, or if he is only after sex.

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Answering the Dreaded "Was it Good for You?" When it Wasn't

by Karen Talavera

Ah, sex for the first time with a new partner. Isn’t it wonderful? Unfortunately, it’s not always. No matter how attracted you are to somebody, sometimes things just don’t click in the bedroom. You lie there, vaguely disappointed...and then you hear it. “Wow, that was incredible. Was it good for you?” And your heart plummets. What the heck do you say?

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Revealing Intimate Details From Past Relationships

by Ron Zvagelsky

When two people enter a relationship, there is one thing that they will bring with them – baggage. Though at first, the feelings of love may be strong and overwhelming, it doesn’t take very long before those feelings wear off and you begin to see each other for whom you really are. When this happens, dialogue and communication begins to change. At first, the two of you may never utter an unflattering word or remark to each other, however after time, you’ll find that you’ll know exactly how to push each other’s buttons. This is a simple fact of relationships. The better you know each other, the deeper your communication will be, and the easier it will be to trigger sensitive areas that each partner has.

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Tips for Improving Intimacy

by Ron Zvagelsky

It is inevitable! After a certain period of time, you and your partner will encounter moments when you feel less intimate with one another. Lack of intimacy can be emotional, physical, or both. Often, these are passing phases in a relationship, but due to the stress that lack of intimacy can cause, many relationships fail to bounce back after this period. There are a number of things that can decrease the level of intimacy in a relationship. Some of these include:

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