Sex is one of the greatest gifts given to humankind, however it is often used in ways that can hurt and destroy a relationship, rather than create intimacy. When sex is used as a weapon, both parties of the relationship suffer. Both men and women can equally abuse sex and use it as a weapon against their partner. Women might be more likely to withhold sex when angry, frustrated, or disappointed while men are more likely to use sex as a way to resolve conflicts and issues. Pressuring a woman to have sex when she isn’t consensual is just as damaging as a woman withholding sex to manipulate her partner. Understanding how recognize the signs of using sex as a form of control can help both partners make certain that they treat their sexual intimacy with respect and the reverence that it deserves.
One of the greatest mistakes that a woman can make in her relationship is withholding sex as a form of control. When women expect their partners to be faithful to them, they must understand that they are the ones who their partner is going to find sexual fulfillment with. By withholding sex, you are not engaging in warfare and winning a battle, you are actually creating a scenario where your partner will begin to resent you and begin looking for a new, better relationship. Withholding sex to gain an advantage in a relationship never works, and the results are always the same; it will ultimately destroy the relationship.
What is important to understand is that if a woman is emotionally upset or angry, she will not be in the mood for sex. Where many men will want to ultimately resolve a conflict through sex, a woman would rather resolve the argument through talking and cuddling. However, once she has received ample communication and feels secure in the relationship again, she will be ready for sex. The key is to recognize that when problems arise, they must be solved in a manner that doesn’t involve sex. Men shouldn’t expect to resolve the issue through sex and women should refrain from the attitude that she won’t give any sex because of the conflict. The focus should be on communication and resolving the problem in a mature manner. Once the couple begins to discuss the underlying issues and work at a solution, they can then pick up with their intimacy. Sex then becomes a true act of deeper intimacy and not a weapon or a temporary cure to cover the problem.
I’m sure you’ve heard of make up sex, and make up sex is a great thing. However, it must be used correctly. Make up sex should never take the place of openly talking about, and solving conflicts and problems. It should arise after the problem has been resolved and the couple is feeling genuine feelings of love and intimacy for one another. If a woman feels that she is being pressured into sex while her emotional needs aren’t being met, she will feel as if sex is being used as a weapon against her. Likewise, when women feel angry or emotionally dissatisfied they will shut their partner’s off and withhold sex from them. Communication, love, and respect are key to preventing sex from becoming a weapon in any relationship.
Sex as a weapon ?
Men use it as a weapon.When I research I find nothing but articles and advice about women who do it.
My x doe's. I know im not the only one who has experenced this.People need to feel attractive and needed . Women more so in my view.It is so emotionally damageing yet there is no advice or councel I can find.
vivian
in my experience men use sex to dominate the woman--not the reverse. If a woman is not ALWAYS ready, then the man withholds sex as a weapon. This makes a woman, who is used to sex everday, feel unwanted and definitely rejected. Then he tells me that he had to masturbate while I way lying in his bed naked--due to my disinterest. Someone who wants sex at every opportunity and then suddenly is uninterested is sending a message of, at best, disinterest and at worst--hate and disapproval.
omg! my boyfriend totally withholds sex from me to control me.An worse he admitted to it not long ago! I find it so hard to stay interested in him.I even put up a ad on a dating site. I know I am acting out of frustration. I also see how his parents show no affection for each other.So its clear where he learned his behavior from. He just laughs at me when I say im going to leave him or be with another man.Any advice?
Use sex as a weapon and hurt me!
My girlfriend actually brings up the ideal of sex and then finds an excuse to "back out". She has done so several times. Her head hurts, back, she tired,etc. I could understand if I was wanting sex and she didn't want to but it's usually her that brings it up then reneges. She told me once that, "I didn't know that bothered you" Once she did admit that she did it because "I guess I do it because I can".
My now ex-girlfriend constantly accused me of using sex as a weapon. I feel relieved to read this article and know that that is not 100% true. I am one of those women who needs conflict to be resolved before I feel ready to have sex. It for me is not about control. I just don't want sex to overshadow the real issues and most times I'm not in the mood if the issue is big enough. We agreed to take it slow but then she broke up with me partially for not having sex with her.