You’ve seen it repeatedly portrayed in movies, the older man stars with the younger woman. In fact, many people find nothing odd about seeing Clint Eastwood or Paul Newman starring with a woman in their twenties as their love interest. However, today, many women are finding that dating younger men offers many benefits. Cameron Diaz dated Justin Timberlake while Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher. If you’re attracted to significantly older men or women, you aren’t alone. Likewise, if you are a man or woman looking for love in younger places, you’ll find plenty of company. Intergenerational dating is very popular and is becoming increasingly more common.
People find intergenerational dating appealing for various reasons. Many women find that dating younger men brings excitement to their lives. Older women often have put aside their child rearing years, are more financially stable, and have their career goals in order. They find younger men appealing because they are usually commitment free. Younger men often haven’t been divorced, don’t have children or alimony payments to make and are a nice enhancement to the more mature woman’s life. Younger men experience the benefits of dating a woman who knows what she wants in life and has a strong sense of who she is. This package is very appealing to many men.
It may sound strange to say, but another reason that intergenerational dating has become so popular is due to the advancements in medicine and plastic surgery. Today’s older people just look better then they used to. Men and women can have things lifted, tucked, and nipped and where twenty years ago, there age may have been obvious, today’s older individuals can hide the appearance of age and generally look much younger than their years. Couple this with the maturity level they have attained and their security in life, and they offer a level of competition to the younger generation that many can’t compete with.
As with all relationships, there are problems that are inherent to intergenerational dating. Though things may look wonderful on the outside, people do tend to change. One of the biggest challenges that intergenerational couples face is when one of the couples changes their viewpoint. You see one or both of the partners may choose to willingly make sacrifices to be in a successful intergenerational relationship. If a younger woman is dating an older man, there may be an agreement that they won’t have children; the same agreement may have been made between an older woman and younger man as well. However, as time progresses, either may decide that they would like to start a family and this could put a strain on the relationship. Many intergenerational relationships ultimately end when these differences in life views cannot be resolved.
Sometimes, intergenerational relationships become burdened due to the pressure inflicted by other family members and friends. In situations where there may be children relatively the same age as the new love interest, there could be hostility from the children to the new partner. Intergenerational relationships may face many obstacles, but with commitment, devotion, and plenty of communication, they can be very successful.
My boyfriend and I have an 18 year age gap. I really love him, and things are great except for the fact that I have the libido of a 21 year old, and he no longer does. We used to have sex all the time, but one day he asked me if something had happened to me and if thats the only way I feel close to him (both answers are no). Now, i just feel guilty when I'm in the mood. How can I get our libidos more in sync without one of us having hurt feelings?
Hi Kelly,
I think the best thing to do is discuss the differences with him. Have you let him know how you feel? I would also ask him what is it that's taking him out of the mood. Maybe he is really tired at the end of the day or something. If it's something like a question of timing, then I'm sure you both can come up with a compromise. I think the first step is in finding out what's making him lose interest. Once you find that out, you can work on the solution.
Hey Kelly, i have a question, what do your family and friends say about the age difference? I am just on the verge of making the decision if I should just listen to myself b/c me is what really counts, but idk about the family. thank you
Hi, im dating a guy 20 years older then me and we've been dating for 1 1/2 yrs and he started to say he loved me and i feel the same way about him but after a month or so he seems uncomfortable to say he loves me i still say it but he only says it back maybe 1/2 the time am i pushing him to much or does he seem to regret saying it?
Hi. I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who's 29 years older than me. I think, age is just a number. We're dealing well with each other. We talk and disagree just like any other couple. Just because we look odd together doesn't mean that there's anything wrong in our relationship. The most important thing is respect and keep on loving each other. However, people do change. If it's time to go, then, just go. Don't play around with each other's feelings. It will only make things worse.
I am 18 and have always been with older guys but just recently I met someone 34 going on 35 and we are just being friends but I feel that it may lead to something more. He has two sons 4 & 6 and although they do not live with him he is very involved with them. I like the kids very much and he is a great guy but I am afraid of what my parents will say think and do if they find out I am hanging out with a 34 year old man. Not to mention if the relationship goes anywhere. After all I do still live with my parents! What do I do?
Im in the same situation as you, Ann. Im 18 years old and I've been talking to this guy thats 31, for about a year now.He has a four year old daughter, and I really like him, I think I may even love him, but just yesterday, he went off on me about telling somebody him and I talk. idk if hes embarrassed or ashamed about it, but now hes not talking to me. idk what to do? should i continue talking to him or should i move on and maybe find somebody my own age?
me and my guy have been dating for 7 months now and i havent met his mom yet but i have met his son though. we are 10 yrs apart. is he scared to take me to see his me because i am younger then him or is he just waiting for the right time for us to meet each other?
I am 18 aswell. And I'm like kind of seeing a 35 year old man. He's really amazing and he gets me. The only thing is we're 17 years apart, we met at work,I can't drive yet, my motherknows him and has already established that she doesn't like him, and so have our coworkers. So we were thinking that we should wait until I'm 20 because its more acceptable then or when I graduate. I'm in college know but we're 2 hours apart so its hard to see eachother. We discussed seeing other people because of the distance and the age gap, but i can't think of being with anyone but him. he's been hurt in the past, so he's like guarded. But he said he felt differently about me. we werefriends first then more very briefly now i think we're back to being friends. I told my friends about him and they don't like him and think he's only going to hurt me because were in such different stages of our lives. They think that while were friends we should just end our relationship all togehter. I dont think either of our frieds are cool with us being anything nor are my parents or his mom (his dad said aslong as im christian). Is this someting worth fighting for and keeping a secret from my family and friends? Or are they right and I call it quits?
Im almost 22 and the man i'm in love with is 35. We started off as friends who just worked out together and never thought we would date, let alone fall in love with each other but we did. I'm glad that we were not only friends first but that our friendship was innocent. We only want to see each other happy. My mother already knew him when we were just friends and now that we're more she sees that i'm truely happy so she accepts him even more. It's great that she likes him but to be honest it wouldn't matter if she did or not and she knows that. If i feel that a person is right for me there's nothing anyone can say to make me change how i feel because i have to learn for myself. And as far as friends go, I keep my personal life private and i dont discuss our issues with anyone but him. We make it a habit to resolve our issues then and there because we dont want any built up tention or resentment. Although he has met my mother and brothers and i have yet to meet anyone in his family, its understandable because he has a 10yr old daughter and a 7yr old son. We want to make sure we are going to be in each others lives before we take that step. We are looking to be life partners and not just date for the moment so we want to do things right. Its been a great experience and we will continue to learn from each other and resolve our disagreements.
I don't wish it on you, but I have EXPERIENCED it first-hand. All of you 18-22 year olds who are seeing older men should stop. You are guaranteed to get hurt badly by them, although you can't see it now. Older men are manipulative of women that young. Trust me. I have no problem with age differences when both parties are well into adulthood, like let's say a 30 year old and a 50 year old. But you all are way too young to get involved with these old tricksters. Trust me, they are just fascinated by "fresh meat." It boosts their ego.
Many of these women with much older men have self-esteem issues and low work ethic, mental problems, or simply prostituting themselves for a daddy figure and some cash. Most of these women don't work outside (or even inside in many cases) the home. They are lazy human beings. Let them come and argue with me if they want. Also, many of these women with much older men are compulsive liars, and they breathe lies not only to the public (like to the poster of this article) but to themselves & their offspring. I am not a man, I am a woman, btw. And I'm telling you what they don't want you to hear.
This comment was removed for bad language.
I personally say that dating a younger female is fine. I, on one hand, am 18 and I am currently dating an 50 year old. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I thank God everyday for creating him 36 years before my time. He loves the fact that I am upbeat and serious and the women his age, he says, are nothing but a bunch of bitter old women getting back at men for hurting them. I don't care about money because he makes more than me,but I don't work. I inherit money so I don't have work, so money isn't the reason for us being together. The sex and kisses are amazing. Every since I was 15 I knew I like older men because I grew up being very mature. I didn't have sex, like other girls, until 2 months after graduation.Now I kept myself for older man might sound stupid, but worth it.
i know its one very rewarding relationship,but can have consequences,younger guys can never fulfill my needs the way he does.. i am 20 and he is 35 years old..we have been good friends first,and now are dating for 4 months :) and let me tell you the age gap makes no damn difference..we have so much in common its surreal...we both want the same things out of life..it really depends on the individual and where you are in life..he has dated older women that were immature and dated younger women that were mature...
actually i never had a boyfriend..i never have tried dating younger guys because i hate them..i want a man not a boy..not saying all younger guys are but maybe most..and let me tell you its the best decision i have ever made..he makes me feel like a goddess i really like him..we have no drama in our lives,he doesn't even have children..has never had children..actually we both hate kids..he prefers to raise dogs instead the exact same way i would think..
all we want to do is completely merge souls with one another,nothing else matters when its just the two of us,and its going to stay that way for a long time..i have a feeling :)
oh and i told my mom,she was cool with it..i'm old enough to make my own decisions i go to school and work..i dont expect him to take care of me i prefer to take care of myself it feels weird to be taken care of lol..we take care of ourselves to take care of eachother :)
Dating an older man sucks!