You go out on a few dates, and each one is better than the last. You talk together, laugh together, share some mutual interests, and seem to share a mutual attraction. The relationship is beginning to take off, it seems, and you're just starting to feel that little spark of excitement in your belly: this one might just work out.
Then...poof! He disappears. Stops calling, stops emailing, and stops, well...you. Out of the blue, he's out of your life. And even though it's happened before and will probably happen again, you just can't figure out what, exactly, has caused this guy to disappear. It’s the un-solvable mystery of the disappearing man.
Want to figure out just what went wrong? Read on to see if your disappearing guy left a few clues behind.
Clue 1: You didn't respond. It too-often falls to men to initiate every step in a relationship. Usually (though of course not always), they have to do the asking out. They have to risk rejection by asking for another date, or a first kiss, or a first night together tangled up in his sheets. In dating, men risk a lot. So when the relationship gets started, it's nice to give a man a break and pick up the phone every once in awhile, instead of always leaving it up to him.
In short, if he's always calling you, but you never call him, he may just be tired of always having to take the initiative.
Clue 2: He seemed to pull back. Look back on the last couple dates you've had with your disappearing man. Did everything seem to be normal, just as it always was? Or was there a hint of him pulling away, losing interest? Just as it happens with you, sometimes a guy starts to realize, after a few dates, that things just aren't going to work out with you.
Also think about recent conversations you've had. Sometimes a new relationship can fall apart all at once, on the strength of a single conversation or a fleeting comment. Did you have a big conversation about religion, your expectations for a family, or the future? If so, you may have shown your views or plans to be incompatible with his...or just scared him off. It's sad, but hey, it happens. It's better to know these things before you get serious, anyway, right?
Clue 3: He's had a recent break-up. Sometimes you're the rebound girl and you don't even know it. If you know that somebody you're dating has had a recent break up, there's a very good reason why they might suddenly disappear: they got back together with their ex. It's always a little depressing but, hey, at least you can feel like you helped him out. (Pretty meager compensation, right?)
Whether you can follow the clues and Sherlock Holmes yourself an answer to your guy's disappearing act or not, you sometimes have to come to terms with the fact that things don't always work out. You can comfort yourself with the thought that it's better for things to have fallen apart earlier than later. And that you didn't want to be dating a guy who wouldn't at least call to let you know he was moving on, anyway.