Why is it that there is always a sense of excitement when we get ready for a night on the town? A bubbly anticipation as we zip our dresses, button our blouses, spray the cologne, tousle the hair. It's not as if we are going out to that same bar that we've been frequenting for the last 5 years, for the first time! The floors are still sticky from spilled drinks and foot traffic, the doorman is still on a power trip and the same drunk teenager with a fake I.D is always dancing on the table in the corner for no good reason. Yet, weekend after weekend, we rally at the house, donning our party apparel, high fives all around and a silent expectation brewing in our well dressed bodies. But, for what?
I've had my fair share of horrible dates – who hasn't? Before, I'd usually suffer through them in silence, making small talk and pretending to laugh at their less-than-humorous jokes.
Eventually, I started to realize that not only was I making myself miserable; I was leading the poor sap on! I can't tell you how many times guys have called me after a first date, only to realize after the 17th call I had no desire to go out with them again…
At one point during your romantic history, you've undoubtedly encountered a partner that, when you try to end the relationship, refuses to accept it. As frustrating as that can be, it's important to consider your former partners behavior and why they aren't able to let go.
Getting over someone after we dated for awhile used to be such an ordeal for me. I'd stay hold up in my small studio apartment playing these sad ass love songs, listening to their voice on my answering machine over and over, then either looking at a picture or some cheap trinket that they brought me. I was pathetic. Thank goodness I moved on from that.
The word unconditional is defined as; not conditional or limited, absolute, unqualified and unconditional surrender and I believe when we're falling in love we are doing so; absolutely, unqualified and definitely unconditionally – surrendering ourselves.
But is there a limit when it comes to unconditional love, and when we do add those limitations, can we really use the word unconditional?
I remember when I started telling a few of my friends that I had made a decision to be celibate until marriage. A few of them laughed and I don't mean a little chuckle. They hollered, even mocked and then looked at me as if I were crazy. One even told me that his wife had tried to use that while they were dating and he wasn't having it. I told him how very supportive and respectful he was of her decision. Hopefully he heard my sarcasm.
No two ways about it, we are led by our physical desires. Initially, we pick each other based on how physically attracted we are to each other and if we don’t step back and catch our breath, those emotions can often cloud our thinking and get in the way of us getting to know that person. All reasoning becomes obsolete as our physical emotions take over.
Life is not as complicated as we think. Essentially, life can be described as a long series of yes' and no's. Happiness? Yes. Holiday Pounds? No thank you. A raise? Yes, please. A date with Carrot Top? Um…let me think about it, no.
However, in between the yes', nope's and Heck ya's, there is a gray zone; a particularly uncomfortable area that I like to call the Maybe Zone. Maybe's, I'm not sure's and I don't know's reside in this wasteland. Here, dwell lost causes, unresolved issues and generally the unknown. Among the lost causes, you may encounter our opinion of Britney Spears, the justification of the war in the Middle East and, my least favorite, Friends with Benefits, or what I like to call FwiBs.
Not every great relationship starts with a neighbor in the apartment next door. Sometimes they don't even have to live in the same city. Example: Say for instance you're on vacation in a tropical paradise. One evening while visiting the nightclubs, you meet someone. Immediately there is an attraction, but hours later as the sun rises, you realize that this person has a lot more going on than looks. They're smart, funny, successful and most of all single; basically the many assets you've been looking for in a mate.
We have all been there before! Six margaritas, three very adamant "I'm not drunk's!!!" and one phone number of a chemical engineer with braces later, there we are, scrolling through potential victims to drunk dial. We all have them; the two or three people that always pop-up into our psyche every time we somehow have a little too much too drink. The only inhibition we possess however, is not if we should actually call them, but who we really should call first! This is where our friends step in, de-claw the cell phone away from our grips and remind us that we are drunk and that it's a bad idea. But is it really a bad idea?
Why is it that there is always a sense of excitement when we get ready for a night on the town? A bubbly anticipation as we zip our dresses, button our blouses, spray the cologne, tousle the hair. It's not as if we are going out to that same bar that we've been frequenting for the last 5 years, for the first time! The floors are still sticky from spilled drinks and foot traffic, the doorman is still on a power trip and the same drunk teenager with a fake I.D is always dancing on the table in the corner for no good reason. Yet, weekend after weekend, we rally at the house, donning our party apparel, high fives all around and a silent expectation brewing in our well dressed bodies. But, for what?
The word unconditional is defined as; not conditional or limited, absolute, unqualified and unconditional surrender and I believe when we're falling in love we are doing so; absolutely, unqualified and definitely unconditionally – surrendering ourselves.
We have all been there before! Six margaritas, three very adamant "I'm not drunk's!!!" and one phone number of a chemical engineer with braces later, there we are, scrolling through potential victims to drunk dial. We all have them; the two or three people that always pop-up into our psyche every time we somehow have a little too much too drink. The only inhibition we possess however, is not if we should actually call them, but who we really should call first! This is where our friends step in, de-claw the cell phone away from our grips and remind us that we are drunk and that it's a bad idea. But is it really a bad idea?