When two people are involved in a committed relationship, it doesn't take very long before all of the fun, dazzle, and romance begins to wear off. Once this happens, couples may discover that they have many differences and begin arguing and fighting. First, it should be stated that the feeling of "being in love" never lasts. This is a proven scientific fact. All of the hormones, forgetfulness, and constant thoughts of each other lasts roughly the first two years of being "in love". After that, reality sets in and people begin to see each other without the rose colored blinders – faults and all.
It may be tempting to take a break in your relationship if you have been seeing each other exclusively, and then begin arguing and quarreling frequently. However, before deciding that this is the best road to travel, you will need to take some things into consideration. The first area to consider is that once you and your partner take a break, either one of you may decide to end the relationship. This is a serious reality and one that you should really consider before agreeing to take a break. However, most people agree that when one party feels that it is time to take a break, they have already been contemplating ending the relationship. So, with that in mind, if you absolutely do not want to end your relationship, you may want to discuss other options with your partner.
Before agreeing to take time off of your relationship, you may want to suggest seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you work through the issues that you are facing and can provide greater results than you can achieve by taking a break.
You should also realize that if you and your partner have unresolved issues, taking a break from your relationship would not solve them. If you have been fighting frequently, and want to take a break, when you get back together your problems will still be there. This is another reason why seeing a counselor is more advantageous than taking a break. If your relationship is to grow stronger and thrive, it is better to take care of the issues that are causing strain and disagreement, rather than avoiding them.
Sometimes, the idea of taking a break from a relationship seems like the best solution, however it may just be a way of running away from the real issues at hand. It should also be considered that the fact that you want to take a break might be a warning sign that your relationship has reached its end.
Finally, there is truth to the statement that separation makes the heart grow fonder. If you have tried counseling, and continue to fight, and aren't sure if you should end your relationship or not, you may want to agree to take a break. If you find that your heart is longing for the other person and you both agree to reunite, your relationship may be stronger than it ever was before. However, you should both be prepared for the possibility that your break may be the first step to the end of your relationship.
Hi there,
I've just told my partner of over 7 years that I need to take a break. We have a tumultuous history, which mainly includes me wanting to leave him. In the past year and a bit I have even resorted to telling him his faults, which really aren't even his faults, as he is such a great person. He is so hurt, his self-confidence is diminishing and I hate myself for saying the things I said. To me, this break is really just a break, I need to figure out why, under times of stress, I behave so poorly. I panic, give him a list of things I'm not happy about, and then want to end it. He is a great person though. Can I actually deal with these issues that I have? What are these issues? And if I can, do you think I could ever mend the damage I have done? How? I know I personally need this break as I can't keep repeating this same pattern. It is so unfair to him and I hate seeing him so hurt. But everyday I ask myself what I have done. Help.
My girlfriend of 5 and a half years has been going through about 6 months of being unhappy in our relationship. She is not sure why she is unhappy and I truely believe she does not know why. I didn't want to go on a break, but she has tried to stay with me and is just so unhappy.
We ended up taking a break 4 days ago today. It has been absolutly horrible. I have called her 3 times and sent text messages. I know that calling her and texting her is not what she wants. I feel like if I don't stay in contact she will forget about me and won't come back.
I am so lost and feel destroyed. Everything hurts so much. I do have friends that are helping me with this but the pain is still unbelievable.
There is no right answer to this hurt and pain. Only time will tell what happens. It's just unbearable to think of my life without her.
Hi Adam,
I want to start out by saying that I am really sorry to hear about your situation. Losing someone after 5 years can be really difficult and at times you may feel as though you’ll never be able to get over her. As you go through this process, it’s important that you remember that time really heals all…and no matter how painful it may be right now, it will get better.
Your girlfriend’s unhappiness can stem from a number of different reasons and I really can’t make any assumptions without knowing more about your relationship. What I can tell you though, with pretty good certainty, is that this type of feeling arises quite often in long term relationships. Sometimes it’s easy to identify…work, stress, friends, commitment, but in most cases, we don’t really know why we’re unhappy…we just are.
I believe that your girlfriend doesn’t know why she’s unhappy and that’s why it is so important that you give her time and space to figure things out. Nobody can tell you how things will work out…she may decide that she can’t live without you can come knocking on your door. Alternatively, she may never come back, or worse, decide that she wants you back when you’ve already moved on. Regardless of what happens, we need to focus on the present and that means giving her space…not calling or texting. Feeling as if she’ll forget about you during your time apart is common…but after 5 years together, trust me when I tell you that she knows you’re there.
Your situation is difficult because you don’t know what to do. You want to be optimistic about her coming back, but at the same time, you can’t help but think that she may never come back at all. How long do you wait before you realize that it’s over and move on? You said it best….only time will tell. In the meantime, try to surround yourself with good friends and keep busy. Give her the space she needs but don’t set any milestones or dates. I promise you that things will naturally work out…they always do; and on that morning in the future, you’ll wake up and she’ll either be there with you or you’ll know that it’s time to move on.
Good Luck!
my boyfriend and i have been together for 9 months.
a few weeks ago my boyfriend went over seas for his oe as he has been plaining it before he met me.
we have been haveing on and off fights for the hole month of(may).
towards the end of the month we almost ended up breaking up but ended up have a break i agreed because i knew there is something there and i love him but cant say it because i my self have to learn to trust what he says and if he means it. he has never cheated and i know that so it not that.
he has told me now since he has been over seas that he has fallen out of love for me and that he hopes that he will fall in love with me again when he gets back and said that he still realy cares for me
im scared that now that we are having a break he might met some one and then she will see how amazing he is. i have had past relationships but he makes me realy happy he is always there and drops any thing to see me.
i hope this break will do good rather than do bad.
Hi Dep,
Although it may come off as a little harsh, I wouldn’t wait for someone who has told you that they’ve fallen out of love with you. The worst part of it all is that he said he may fall back in love with you again when he gets back. Love isn’t a once in a while thing…it’s either there or it isn’t, or it’s there and then lost.
I get the feeling that he wants to try new things but doesn’t want to lose you either. That’s incredibly unfair to you and if he does end up coming back, I wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing happens again. The truth is, you’re the one that’s amazing…he already knows that and you need to as well.
Best of luck!
Hi Andrea,
Sorry for the delayed response.
After being in a relationship for 7 years, there are so many things that can factor in to what you’ve been experiencing. Regardless of how good of a person he is, it’s likely that both of you aren’t right for each other…and there is nothing wrong with that. Your desire to leave the relationship, and your inability to do so, is probably the main reason why you react the way you do under stressful situations. It has nothing to do with him…you’re upset with yourself (the situation that you’re in) and you’re projecting those feeling onto him.
You’ve already made the best possible decision…taking a break. I am not sure if your past relationships were similar, but regardless, you need to really concentrate on yourself in order to sort out your personal issues. Can you mend the damage you’ve caused? Well…if you haven’t done so already, I would offer him a sincere apology for all of the things you’ve said. Take complete responsibility for your actions and ask for his forgiveness…that’s really the only thing you can do. As far as what triggers these issues…without knowing too much about your situation, I would say that it stems from your unhappiness in the relationship. You didn’t just wake up unhappy one morning; it’s been slowly building up inside of you and this is how you’ve dealt with it. Only time will tell how things will work out, and if you find that you’re a different person when he’s not around, you should probably consider making the break permanent.
Best of luck!
I came upon this page when I was searching information about getting some space in a relationship or like you say, "taking a break". I have been in a 3 year relationship and both my partner and I have been through so much this past year. Last July, his Dad suffered a heart attack and died right in front of him. He seemed to shut off emotionally which I expected. I made sure to let him know I was there for him while he went through this. Now that it is coming upon the year anniversary of his dad's death we had another incident. My great grandmother, who he knew and loved, died of cancer.
At that point he really seemed to turn off. He came to see me when she passed (and he was there in the hospital to visit her before) but I could tell he couldn't handle the pain of having to go through another death. Since then (it’s only been about a week since her passing) it has been extremely hard to get in touch with him and he just seems emotionally unavailable. He has tried to support me through this but seems to not be able to handle it.
Today we had a long conversation and we both cried and he said he feels so screwed up and that he doesn't want to hurt me like he has been the past couple of weeks. The passing of my great grandmother has brought back too many memories of the passing of his father. He said he doesn't know what he wants and I truly feel he doesn’t. He mentioned space and I asked if he would rather take a "pause" or "stop" with the relationship. He said a "pause" for two weeks. So I am going to lay off and give him the emotional space he needs, no calls, no texts. I recommended a therapist since I truly believe he has not grieved his father in a helpful way.
I am just so hurt. I feel that he truly doesn't know how to handle his feelings over the death of his father and I don't blame him at all. I just hope that this “pause” will help rather than harm this relationship. This isn't a "break" where we are exploring other avenues or new people, it is an emotional break to give him time to sort out his grieving and see if he can handle everything. What is your experience with grieving consecutive deaths and continuing a healthy relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years. He is my first love, my first boyfriend, and I think because of that I have an extra attachment to him because I do not have any experience with other people. I have heard that this happens to many girls as a first boyfriend phase---this abandonment of self, and need to end up married to this guy.
I feel like my happiness depends on him and on marrying him. He loves me tremendously and is my best friend but has had more experience and is just more independent and secure in himself. I on the other hand voluntarily give up hobbies, friends, family for him, and I pretty much put the huge burden on him to be my everything. I am obsessed with the idea of marrying him, even though I know its just completely unrealistic at this stage in my life, and in his. I know this and believe this completely but at the same time I want when the time does come to end up with him. I feel that if I don’t….I just feel that I need to, that its destiny, that if I don’t my life, the universe, everything would just be wrong.
Feeling like this, throwing my future happiness all on something that is external to me, is just very hurtful and frustrating, to both of us.
I don't want to do it anymore. I feel that I need to reclaim my individuality and realize that although he can be an amazing addition to my happiness, he can't be the stem of my happiness, of my life. I want to be happy and balanced. I don’t want to have anxiety or unwarranted jealousy/suspicion.
How do I fix these issues? I am too scared to break up with him. Like I’ve said he’s been my everything and he’s such a special beautiful person. I don’t want to lose him or close any doors. I just want to do what it takes to strengthen and stabilize myself and ideally get back together with him.
We have talked a couple of times about taking a break eventually. Do you think this could help? Would a break help me to find strength in myself and stop being so needy? Would seeing other people help me realize whether my relationship with him is driven by love or love mixed with obsession and attachment. Would seeing other people help me take off any first-love blinders I have on, the obsession and fear of being alone? I need to feel that in the long run I will be ok and will love myself whether or not I end up with him. What do you think? Take a break? How long?
Hi,
I've been going out with my girlfriend for over a year and it was going great, really great. Then when I came back from a holiday something was missing in me, I don't know what it was and I got that horrible pain in your stomach, the one where you know something is wrong but you try and avoid it anyway.
We were set to move in together this weekend and for the past few months I have been really looking forward to it but suddenly out of nowhere this feeling came over me. I feel absolutely awful as she was meant to be moving in with me and now has nowhere to live in a weeks time.
I still do love her, but something has changed, I don't know what and I just thought I could push past it by using antacid and herbal remedies, which obviously didn't work.
I am a complete mess and don't know what to do...
well unfortunatly i joined this crowed about 2 hrs ago. My girlfriend of 2 yrs, have a son thats just over a year old and just bought a house july 21 2008 came to me about a month ago and said she was unhappy. shortly after that she started going out after work with her friend: who was living on the couch 1 week after we moved in because her and her boyfriend broke up and she had nowhere to live: anyways they started going out after work with people from work and it became more frequent and getting home later and later and sometimes not at all, so what do i do... what else, I start asking her " who is he, are you cheating, ect..... she denied it and said she was just trying to get some space which wasnt working out so well because of my insecurities and the fact we were still living togeather. up until now she showed me nothing but honesty and even though i know that i still feel i dont trust her at this moment. she is 24 and i am 27, dont know if the age has anything to do with it. she told she was unhappy because without realizing it i kinda became withdrawn and wasnt doing the things i use to do to make her feel special. i tried to explain to her i have been very stressed out after we had or son about financial issues" couldnt save money with bills and everything" and everybody was asking us when were getting married. She even brought it up but i felt it wasnt the right time because i didnt want to do it with all the recent changes in our lives and do it for the wrong reasons. she took it as i really didnt love her and if i wasnt ready then then i would never be. were on a break now and she just moved out with her friend that was living on our couch...whitch isnt here at this moment. I was just wandering what i should do given our son and house. when she first told me she was unhappy it was like a slap in the face and made me realize what i havent been doing and expressed it to her. how should this be handled? do i still call her? i was thinking about sending some flowers to her while she was at work in a couple of weeks. or should i just totaly ignore her with the exception of our son. she says if were meant to be were meant to be.
Em,
What, specifically, has she done that makes you feel you cannot trust her? A relationship will not work if there are trust issues, either with one or both partners.
Stress is a part of life and it's normal for one partner to feel overwhelmed by it. She obviously feels neglected. The two of you have a home and a child together. You owe it to your son and yourselves to have a heart-to-heart about unresolved issues in your relationship. Ron wrote in this article that taking a break when there are issues that need to be worked on will NOT strengthen the relationship. Talk to her! If the two of you love each other that much then you need to sit down and have a serious talk about what your future plans are.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over 5 months but previously dated for 3 a year ago. She broke up with me a year ago because I went off to college, and we got back together at the end of my freshman year. She had assured me that she was serious this time. Even though I warned her about how difficult college would be being in a relationship, she told me that should would be able to handle it and make time for me.
But during the first two weeks of school, we had not talked that much and I feel as if she was not prepared for what college was going to be like.
Today my girlfriend decided that we should take a break and i've felt so heartbroken. All I want to do is call her and tell her not to leave but at the same time I know I have to give her space. A part of me is paranoid that it's over, but a part of me has hope because I know she loves me.
I don't know what to do! Help!
Hi. I've got a question for you folks. My boyfriend sprung the break thing on me out of the blue. I'm finishing my phD and am writing my Thesis. This involves an incredible amount of patience, dilligence and if you know anyone who's tried this there are many people who simply do not finish because it is so consuming and difficult. On the same day that I find out my little sister, is very very ill and I'm sitting and worrying about her, he came over and dropped a bomb. I cook him a nice dinner (he buys me dinner all the time) and he eats with me and then we go to the video store like a normal "easy" Friday night. Then he sits on the couch, not next to me, but in a way that says stay away from me arms crossed, with his arms over his eyes. I ask him what is wrong and he tells me he's not sure if we are right for each other and that we should take a break. I was totally and completely shocked. Nothing in his behavior previously led me to believe this would occur.
Given that I've been gone plenty of time (13 of 46 weeks) for my schooling, I find this rediculous. I was in Japan for 2 months, Costa Rica and I went home (2200 miles north of Texas) for 3 weeks. These trips were not consecutive, but evenly spaced out... and I thought these were healthy because they DID allow us time to think. Is it not reasonable to believe that if he didn't decide then, what is one more week?
Well anyway, I was in shock when it happened and had no idea what to say. He has had his time... more time then most people would get or even want. I compromised the best I could. I told him he had until next Friday to decide if he wants to continue dating (1 full week). I can't sit and finish my thesis while I sit and worry about this. It would almost be easier if we just were broken up. Then at least I could get mad.... But I love him so much... and I don't want to break up with him.
I am looking for decent advice. Should I disappear during this week? Would that strengthen things? I am the type of girlfriend who will go out of my way for a boyfriend. I have been helping him fix up his house (I'm good at painting so I can help a lot), cook him dinners and help him any way that I can. If he leaves a shirt here, I wash it... Just nice little things. I think I'm cute, size 0 and I always make an effort to look pretty for him. Those things obviously didn't make a difference. What will leave him impressed?? Should I write him a love letter? Should I pretend he doesn't exist? I am so confused!
I'll tell you one thing, when we get together on Friday I'm going to wear the most beautiful outfit ever... But other then that I'm at a total loss.
My girlfriend of 4 1/2 years recently told me that she didnt want to break up but that she wanted to take a break from me. I think it may be important to note that she said that she did not have time for me/us right now, but she is NOT an emotional rollercoaster like *keyword* some women BUT she cried out and said that she did not want to have regrets.
She is a senior at a big university and is planning to move out of state for her master's this next summer. I talked to her about moving and we had plans and such, but I told her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
I finished college back in '05 and shortly after I moved with her to help her finish her undergrad at a different school, but she changed her mind on profession, so we ended up moving back.
More background on her…
She lost a very close friend of hers to cancer earlier this year and her sister whom she is close too as well tried to commit suicide.
She is dealing with all that plus she moved out of her parents and into an apartment with a roomate…more stress.
She works full-time and goes to school full time. In addition, (I am no means making excuses, but I am trying to figure out what is going on in her head) she is trying to study for her entrance exams to grad school.
Yikes, I am sorry this is so long but she is the sweetest girl and I want to stop and say I know you asked for space and I DON'T want to smother you but I am tired of kidding ourselves lets go and pick out a ring.
I have read many things on the internet and spoke with some of my friends and they all say DONT CALL HER and IF she calls you call her back the next day or something. Any advise on how long I should wait to call?
Confused in Midwest. Thank you...
hi,
i have been dating my girlfriend for a year and 11 months now, she is by far the best and most stable event to ever occur in my life, every moment i spend with her i feel like im floating away, she has touched me like no1 else before (emotional connotation) and i love her, she is my best friend aswell as my lover.
lately however, we have both been extremely stressed with exams and university work on her side, aswell as dance rehersals etc etc. over the past couple of months it had become more and more aparant that organisationally i come in secondary to her school work. this being in the sense that, when it comes to a deadline for a paper she has to hand in, she will hve it done a week in advance. however if it comes to having a date with me, or popping over, she is forgetfull, unorganised and sometimes just plain inconsiderate of my life.
dont get me wrong, i have no problem with her spending more time on her education than me, i just cant help feeling like i'm not half as important as it. after she blew me off 4 dates in a row (which is quite alot seeing as i usually only see her during weekends and one in the week)i took the liberty of telling her how i felt, for a few weeks this went very well, but then a couple of days ago she came to the conclusion that i was limiting her, that she couldnt take how everything she does affects me in some way, and that she is not sure that she wants to be in a relationship right now. the 2 following nights i left her alone and she went out with her friends to blow of some steam, i thought all was going well, as i was giving her some space. but last night she called me with the news that she wanted to break up, because she just couldnt handle a relationship right now, and i needed her to much. (i will confess that there is an element of truth to that statement, but personally i see no clinginess in the fact that we call each other once or twice a day, and usually go out on the weekends, i actually see that as relativly little) however, i half convinced her that it was a break we needed, and so we are on a break for a month now, half of that time she will be in koh samui with her parents, and i will be having exams.
the problem is, i dont know if we will pull through this, i wasnt convinced that she is really seeing this as a 'break' i believe to her it is closer to a permanent break.
how do i convinve her i'm not clingy without talking to her? how do i not let her forget about me, while not being by her side? how can i sit idlely by and watch her slip away from me? my hands are tied and i dont know what to do anymore. i just hope she remembers all the amazing times we've had together, not the lesser ones.
so far the only contact i have made was an sms stating:
"being on a break does not mean we can date other people (true/false)"
attempting to keep it as discreet as possible.
somebody give me guidance, advice on how to cope with this, my friends, go bless them, havnt experienced relationships past 2 months and as hard as they try, simply cannot relate to the pain and emptyness i feel.
please feel free to email me about this
[email removed]
thankyou all
-yorben
amendment:
as soon i i pressed submit i recieved an sms from her stating "ofcourse its true you dumbass" which believe it or not is actually charming (interrelationship humor if you will)
at least this is a load of my paranoid mind
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years. We had our ups and downs like in any relationship, but we always talked about it and moved on. So, I thought everything was pretty much great.
Just recently he dropped a bomb of confessions of all the things he's done to me which he now regrets. He says he didn't cheat on me, however he still completely violated my trust.
He said he fell out of love somewhere along the way, but he never let me know anything of the sort. I feel as though our entire relationship has been a lie.
He says that he's wanting to start fresh, because he feels like he's a new man with new priorities. He says he realizes what he really has with me and he could never forgive himself for crossing me the way he did. Well, that's all great, but I can't believe a single word he says now.
I gave him two months to prove to me that he wanted our relationship to work and that he was sure I was the one he wanted. That didn't work out, because he was always pressuring me to forgive and forget. I have only known for a week! How am I supposed to heal in ONE WEEK?!
Today I told him that I needed a break. The break is so I can clear my mind and really focus on the decision at hand. We live together and I can't see through the fog while he's around me! I hope that he can figure out what he wants too. I'm really not sure what I want at the moment.
I will miss him terribly though. Sleeping alone, waking up alone, eating breakfast alone, doing chores alone, watching TV alone... This is so hard! I haven't been away from him since we got together.. It's unbearable to think about now.
I know I'm doing the right thing. We both need this time to think. What do y'all think?
My boyfriend and I of 2.5 years are now currently on a break too. He initiated it but when he did he told me he loved me, wanted to be with me but was just confused. He was crying and crying and he NEVER cries, not even when his grandfather died. I said some really hurtful things to him a couple of weeks ago, including saying that I thought we should end things (which I didn't mean) and he said since then it was like a piece of him died. He wants to go on a two month break while he's overseas and then be back together in January. He says he doesn't want to see other people because right now he's pushing away the thing that makes him the happiest in the world and a euro fling just wouldn't cut it. I feel terrible. I'm letting him have his space, he messages and calls from time to time but I feel like I really fcuked up and don't know how to make it up to him.
I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and have come to the point where I'm not sure if I want to continue with him or not. We both recently graduated from college about 6 months ago (where we met) and are now both back in our hometowns, about 2.5 hours away from eachother. I am not willing to move due to my coaching job that I have been doing for over 6 years and he is not willing to move for other reasons (family, friends, the area, etc.).
Prior to graduating from college, he had mentioned several times that our relationship was pretty much going to end once we both moved home. Because of this, I began thinking about what I was going to do once we weren't together anymore. We got in an argument one day and I got so mad that I told him it was over and he left. He has always kept me on a pretty short leash, having all of my email passwords and things like that, and not allowing me to talk to any other guy that I ever dated, talked to, or messed around with, so once I told him it was over I felt like I was free. That night I decided to call my ex-boyfriend, which I guess was just me utilizing my new found freedom. While talking to my ex, my boyfriend beeped in on the other and I did not feel any obligation to talk to him so I didn't answer right away. I eventually answered after he called again and he knew I was on the other line with someone. At first I would not tell him who it was because I knew he would be pissed. But, I ended up telling him who it was later. We talked for a long time and I told him about all of my issues that I had with him and he wanted to try and fix them and make it work. But now since I made that phone call to my ex that night, he has tabs on me even more than before because he thinks I am going to sneak around with him, even though that is not the case at all. It just so happens that my ex works at the same place as me, which makes things even worse. If he knows I get off work at 7, and I don't call him until 7:15, he gets really mad at me and asks me a million questions about my whereabouts. This is a problem that is not going to go away because since we are both coaches (me and my ex) for the same youth sports program. I understand why he feels the way he does, but I just don't know if I can live with him getting mad all the time about it, especially when I am not cheating on him in any way.
Being over 2 hours away and having busy lives, we see eachother about twice a month or so for a few days. Our relationship is good about 70% of the time, but the other 30% we get into fights and I just can't see myself having a future with him because of how quickly he can make assumptions and get angry.
We recently talked again about our future and how I wasn't sure if we should continue because if neither of us are ever willing to move, then this relationship is not going to work. You can only have a long distance relationship for so long because at some point somethings gotta give. We decided that until I get a professional full-time job, then we can't make any decisions as to our future. So now he is saying that maybe once I get a job and move into my own apartment that he could come stay with me for extended periods of time, instead of just a few days like he does now since I live with my parents. Then maybe he would actually like living here and consider moving here with me. This is the first he has ever said he would consider moving here. The thing is, I am still yet to land a job, and don't plan on moving into my own place until I have been working for at least 3 months to make sure that I have a financial cushion. I just don't know if I want to wait any longer just to find out that it isn't going to work out.
I am considering asking him to take a break for a little while so that I can figure out what I truly want and really find myself. I wouldn't mind looking into other possible options either to see if there is someone better for me. I am just really confused at this point and I'm not sure what to do.
Please provide your insight.
I really need help. My fiance and I have been together for almost 8 years. We had a long distance relationship so she decided move to my home state and we just recently moved back to her home state. The reason we moved to her home state she was not happy in my state. We have had so many unresolved problems, now we are on a break. She said she has to think about us and if i belong in her future. She says she regrets the past 8 years and she can only remember the bad times that we have had because it out weighs the good. I must admit I could have treated her better but I am ready to give my life to her completely but I have said that before and she no longer believes me. I have given her plenty of empty promises before.
One of the major problems is we live together with her family! We sleep in the same room! I sleep on the floor while she sleeps in the bed. She said I am more than welcome to stay, but if I needed help going back home she could help me. I have no friends and family in this state, all I have is her family. I am Godfather to her sister's baby and her cousin's baby. I play nanny to her sister's baby when everyone goes to work. All her family wants us to get back together but she does not want to because we just split up 5 days ago. Yesterday was the only time we spoke to each other calmly and she told me what she wanted, a split. I cannot just get up and leave. I spent all of my savings getting us here. Her and her family have been supporting me until I could get on my feet.
The other problem is, she has found someone else to spend her time with. She said she doesn't know how much feelings she has for him, I asked if she loved him there was no reply. I blame myself for this because I didn't give her the attention she deserved. She even told me I should make friends and even go on some dates. I told her I just wanted to date her, she rolled her eyes at me.
We haven't had alone time just me and her in years, I can't remember the last time we went on a date. I told her we need to go on a date so see could see the change in me and she said it wasn't a good idea and it would "cloud her judgment." She has been saying that a lot lately, she didn't want to "cloud her judgment."
I want to be with her soooo badly I wish we were together. She held my hand yesterday and I could not stop crying. I want to make up the past 8 years because I know I can be the man she deserves and more, I feel it in my heart. I would do anything to get rid of this immense pain in my heart. I can't eat, sleep or stop crying. I just want her love back.
I am a Chinese girl and my bf is an American. We have more than 1 years relationship and live with each other for almost 10 months. Sometimes we righted but not very often. One thing matters in relationship is that he think our communication would kill him and make him sick, and I was too care for him which make him can not breath. So, after on fighting, we had agreement to take a break for a couple of weeks, but I know that I need to give him space and respect for this break, but I kept on bad mood and beg him that I need to see him, finally he just allowed me to stay twice a week, caz I told him that he can take this break two weeks later after go back to US(he will fly back to US today for 2 weeks). You know last night, he got his friend call who laughed at him when I was still around. He told me he did not want to live with someone even if we get back to this relationship until he want to get married in the future, since he wants his own space at home. We really like each other very much, and I know I have some problem, too care for him, my habit does not attract him. I know the answer for this will be let him to take this break and I need to do thing for myself else, cheer up girl. What’s more he can not see the future of us, and he told me he is so care for me as to bear the bitter to lose me and let me to find my husband in the future. I really do not know how to deal with him and if we have future for the cross-culture relationship.
My situation is very frustrating. I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now. What was said in the beginning of this, that the feeling of truly "being in love" doesn't last, is definitely true. It is really only for about the first two years. For me, the first two years were amazing. I had 3 serious relationships before him, but with him it was different. I could spend every minute of the day with him and was completely content with doing just that. He was the first boyfriend I've had that I felt truly loved me and always would. He would do anything for me and I for him. He also enjoyed doing things for me, taking me out, surprises, trips, gifts. I always felt like it was way too much because I couldn't really give those types of things in return, but he said it made him happy to do it. I had never been catered to like that before, so I guess it made me feel kind of special. For him, this was his first really serious/long-term relationship, so I was skeptical whether or not his feelings would fade because this was so new for him. Eventually, those feelings began to fade for both of us. We stopped going out together, he didn't enjoy doing special things for me anymore, I felt like we were together, yet so distant. It seemed that the only thing we had in common or enjoyed together anymore was our sex life. From then on, I was unhappy and was sure he was too, but it just kept going like this. Eventually, we took a break, but in a bad way. We never got along, but I kept going back and eventually realized that all we had turned into were hook-up buddy's; such a horrible feeling when this was with the person I thought I was going to marry. We had talked about marriage 100 times, certain that we were meant to be. So, I felt lost and confused. After the break, on his terms, we got back together. I felt so desperate to be back together with him that I forgot about my feelings. I wasn't really happy with him or our relationship, but I didn't want to lose him. For the past four months, we've tried to make it work, but it's been awkward. Saying "I love you" again was the worst. We decided when we got back together we were going to take it slow, start over, but when you've said "i love you" everyday for the past 2 and a half years, it's hard not to go back to that, especially when you really feel that way. I could tell that he didn't really want to say those 3 words, though, and he felt like I pressured him to. I've come to find that he felt like I put more pressure on him than just that; Pressure to be constantly affectionate, to tell me how much he loves me, to invite me everywhere he goes. I didn't know that's how I was making him feel, but now that I look at it, I guess I was. I guess I felt like I needed all that attention to know that he really did love me and want me. Now, we're in a huge rut. As of a week ago, we are broken up. I ended it because I really was not truly happy. I didn't feel like he felt the same as I did anymore and our relationship was just too far gone to be fixed. He agreed at the time, but decided a couple of days ago that he can't lose me, that I'm the best thing in his life right now, and we're meant to be. I feel the same way, but don't want to go back to how things were for the past four months. I feel like we need time apart to figure out how to make ourselves happy first, before trying to make each other happy. I feel like this will better our relationship in the future. However, I don't want to lose him for good. What should I do? Is it just too complicated to work out?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just about a year and a half. Everything was going great then he's attitude just took a total nose dive. he was losing interest in me, didn't want to go riding any more with his buddies, didn't want to go out, and was getting temper fares like no bodys business.
I had then asked him if he was still attracted to me and he said he didn't know and he said he felt like the 'spark' in the relationship wasn't there anymore. I spoke with him and told him how when all we do is go over to either of our houses, watch a movie then leave it's bound to happen and that we just need to decidate sometime to going out or having a romantic evening. We took about a week apart then met up to talk, but he was in a bad mood so we put it off for another 3 days, then went out to dinner. It was like a tota turn around from there, he was back to imself and laughing and everything and told me he was in love with me and wanted to work things out.
Then a week later he got even worse and I spoke and asked if he felt he could be depressed and he agreed. His work is trying to cut his hours so his boss can guarantee his nephew 40 hours a week.
So we agreed that he should take some time to think things through then we'll talk; so we took another week apart. We met up and he was saying he's upset that he's barried in bills and he's in 2 dead end jobs with no chance of advancement and that he desn't want me out of his life but feels that he needs to be happy before he makes someone else happy.
So we mutually agreed that we'd take a break to he could regroup his life then we'll take another shot at it. I never showed anger towards him, and i've done nothing but remain supportive and tell him i think it's great that he's thinking things through
he said he still wanted to go snowboarding with me and still wants to talk with me, and doesn't want to date anyone else....i said he could open up the lines of communication...
I haven't heard from him in just a bit over a week....Is it likely that we'll work things out?
I do love him, very much. And I had asked him if he loves me and he said "I think I love you". I'm really scared and miss him immensely....
Do we stand a chance? Are my feelings justified?
I am so confused my bf of 11 months says he wants to take a break he says its not that i dont love you i just need some time to get things in order for our future together. What exactly does this mean. He says he will keep in contact with me call me everyday he will keep the pics he has of me on his phone and ill be on his mind all the time. He is talking about the plans he is gonna do with me and that when i come back what i need to get done and have to do. He told me he wanted to take a break a few days ago and i have been trying to figure out what i did wrong and its heartbreaking to find out that he supposedly isnt in love you anymore. And what is really weird is that same day he told me that he told me he loved me and everything and then i asked him what was wrong and he told me things were on his mind. He made a promise to me that taking this break will work out and that its a new beginning for our relationship. Can you help me with this one plz i am so confused as to if he really loves me and is just trying to build a better relationship for us and our future
Dear Karie,
Your feelings are absolutely justified. You seem like a very sincere, supportive and understanding girlfriend. Taking a break can go two ways: it can either be beneficial to your relationship or it may just be an excuse to temporarily avoid some underlying issue or problem.
This break obviously stems from some issue that your boyfriend is personally dealing with. I understand that a possible key factor affecting your relationship is your boyfriend’s current work situation. Did you two move into the relationship too quickly? Sometimes, when couples move too quickly, they aren’t ready to handle or don’t know how to best support each other in the event that a personal struggle or challenge comes along the way.
In this case, you were clearly surprised by your boyfriend’s sudden change in attitude. Yes, external circumstances can interfere with relationships. Taking a break can allow couples to work out their personal issues without the pressure of having to maintain a relationship. However, communication is the key to resolving any relationship problem. It seems to me like your boyfriend is not doing a very good job of communicating his feelings with you, and that’s not fair to you. He made a good point about working on his individual happiness before working on making a relationship work. However, that’s no excuse for his spontaneous temper flares. At this time, it seems like he is not ready to be in a committed relationship. There is definitely a huge weight on his shoulder and it manifests in his indecisive behavior toward you.
I would really re-evaluate this relationship by first looking towards your personal future goals. Can you see this relationship in line with these determinations?
How long has it been since you last spoke to him? Breakups can renew the relationship between two people who, from taking a break, can deepen their appreciation for their partner. With your boyfriend saying that he thinks he loves you indicates that he may either need more time, or realizes that this relationship just isn’t going anywhere. It’s hard to gauge exactly what his motives are for taking this break. I hope you can reach out to him and have an open dialogue. Otherwise, I would suggest that you move on.
Sincerely,
Liz
My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months and the last couple of weeks have been very rough with the holidays and family stuff that he has been very distant from me. See we live 1 house away from each other and it is very easy to see one another when ever. He is older then me 43 yrs and I am 33 yrs. I confronted him about my feelings and felt very neglected and then that is when he said he felt smothered and that we needed to take a break. he said he still loves me and wants us to go back to the way things were in the beginning. I understand what he is saying but I am scared that he might want to date someone else. He has alot of friends that are girls that told me time and time again how lucky I was to have him. I love this man he has made me feel something I havent felt in a long time. I cant loose him. He is said this isnt a break up but just a break for awhile so we can feel those feelings again.
Everyone I have spoken to tells me not to worry if he comes back then it was ment to be but if not then I just have to act like I dont care and he will see that and most likey will start to realized what he lost. I cant do that I hate not being around him. I feel sick inside. HELP ME PLEASE
hi my girlfriend of 1 year and 2 weeks has told me that she wants to take a break that she needs time to find herself she said she knows who she is with me but she dosent know who she is without me... i love her soo much my love for her hasnt changed.. she tells me she loves me and wants this to work out so thats why shes considering a break becuase she dosent want to loose me.. she said she sees me with her in the long run. we decided to take the break with out talking to other people.. the problem is we still live together and its hard how am i suppose to act with her... please comment back i need advise.. i dont wanna loose her i lover her soo much
my name is jasminn and i am in desperate need of help. in my situation, i am the initiator of the break. my boyfriend and i have been dating four 4 years as of today. we were high school sweathearts and last fall i decided to go away for college. while away at college, i got a glimpse into everything that i feel i'm missing out on. my boyfriend is the only sexual partner i've ever had, the only boyfriend i've ever had, and basically my first everything. and i find myself wondering what it'd be like to date, have sex with, and be found attractive by other guys. i also believe that i can find myself through other relationships with other guys. for me, its a self esteem issue. i honestly dont know where i stand as far as experience and attractiveness, because i have only been with my boyfriend. while everyone around me tells me that my feelings and thoughts are morally wrong and that i'm heartless, i believe that my reasons are definitely valid. i am 19 years old and i want to experience life. i also feel the need to take a break from our relationship because i've seen too many divorces and affairs amongst people i know. i feel that in order to fully commit myself to someone i need to experience the other side of life. and i feel that right now would be the best time to do so, rather than 20 years later in life when i have a joined bank account, a diamond ring, and a family that i'm fully devoted to. i plan on marrying my current boyfriend and i can definitely see him in my future. but now, he is giving me only 2 choices: stay forever or be gone forever. i dont know what to do. what should i do? and are these feelings really wrong? do i sweep all of my emotions, thoughts, and beliefs under the rug forever and paint a smile on everyday til death do us apart in order to keep him? or do i take this break and choose myself over him?
I've been with my boyfriend for many, many years now. And recently had some serious communication issues. We have, unfortunately right now, a long distance relationship. His mother falling ill to caner sometime ago he moved back home while i stayed behind to be at home and work at school and getting a career going. We never struggled much with the distance. There was never a doubt that we could trust each other and we both loved each other for so long now. The hardest part was just being apart, missing out on all the little things.
After the last time i saw him things seemed to change with him. He became more distant and harder to really talk to. I was worried something was wrong. Though i asked we never talked about it other than he didn't want to talk about it. And that when he was ready i was there for him. I was worried his mother was ill again after surviving the cancer. There were a few times she had gotten very ill and taken to the hospital before this year, not related to the cancer luckily though still not good.
At one point, i began to wonder if he wanted to be in the relationship with me but didn't have the guts to tell me. Or maybe he just didn't know how. So i asked him, and he said he didn't want to leave me. I gave him the chance too. I told him to tell me, i rather know and be hurt than find out later and be broken. I made it clear that i wanted to be with him but that i had no desire to be with someone and love someone that couldn't love me or want to be with me.
After that i thought things would get better. He had said he didn't want to break up. He reassured me that he still loved me and he didn't have any reason to be with anyone else. But again the same problems. The distance (and not literally) the lack of communication and openess was there still yet again, maybe even worse. It was a week before christmas that i spoke to him and told him. I wanted to take a break. I wanted time to rethink the "relationship" that we had and where it was going. If it'd ever be able to go anywhere now with how things were. I did this after asking him again whether or not he wanted to break up and end the relationship. To which he still said no. I told him i couldn't keep going on like this. That i'd give him a month to be by himself and think through things. But that'd i'd need an answer. Either he was in or out. I need someone willing to work at things, not say they're sorry and do it over and over again. I made it clear what i wanted, that i knew and had been fighting for it. I wanted him, i loved him and just wanted him to be happy. But even so, i couldn't and wouldn't be with someone who didn't try themselves.
If he's upset and anxious fine, he could tell me. I know he's not one to talk about these things, not just to me but anyone. But to everyone he knows, family and friends. But he still needs to treat me with respect and understand i have feelings. I love him so much, our anniversary is in a month and i wonder if we'll make it to it. We're suppose to talk this weekend, it'll be a month then. I'm nervous and worried about what he'll have to tell me. I'd already made up my mind, i know what i want but i'm afraid. Because i'm not sure anymore what it is he wants, if it even includes a life with me. If i have to let him go i will but i don't want to. I don't like giving up but i think i might have to and that scares me. One person can't fight by themselves to make the relationship work. Both people need to want it just as equally.
I've been with him for over 8 years now. I always thought in the back of my head that someday we'd get married. Maybe have kids. Wasn't one to be in a hurry for it but i still wanted it, still thought about it like every othe woman. I feel as though i'm mourning the loss of the life i never even got to have with him.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year, he is older than I am and has previously been married. When we first got together everything was AMAZING. It was honestly like a fairytale! I helped him with his business, and slowed down on my schooling, I am now going to school to help him with his business also, just not full time. I moved out of my town into his permanently after my apartment lease was up. And we live together. Lately he has been having some really weird off and on spells. One minute he says he cant believe we;ve been together so long and he is so happy and in love with me and he can trust me... the next minute hes going through my cell phone, telling me he hates me and pulling the ebrake in my car while we are driving 40mph down an ice covered road. Yesterday we were fine! he loved me i love him, and then all of the sudden he loves me but cant be with me. i dont do enough for him... which i do, i cook, i clean, i care for him, i help with his business, i help his family out, i dont even see my family but once a month, i dont have any friends anymore. he goes out whenever he wants to, i ask him about my job before i get one to make sure he is ok with it. and im going to school for HIM to help HIM. I dont understand it. What do i do? do i give him space? do i leave our apartment for a while? do i still live here but just not bother him?.. i have no where else to go around here to stay but with his family. i dont want to lose him. He is my EVERYTHING i love him more than anything in the world. Please help me. I have no one else to turn to
So me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months. We've been through an awful lot. Each time, our love for eachother grows. for the past 2 weeks, we have been arguing constantly. Recently, she told me that she lost herself, because she was always focused on pleasing everyone else and not herself so she doesnt know who she is anymore. So she asked me that we could take a break and just be friends. But then i suggested that we stay together but i just give her some space. She agreed but She said she needed to push everyone out of her life to find out who she is, but she hung out with her friends even more frequently than when we were dating. So that really confused me.
At her friend's social gathering, one of her friends made a move on her and she punched him in the nose and made him bleed. It scared me that the event of her cheating on me could have occurred, but i learned to be fine with it because it didnt happen. (this was before our break)
And now, she says that we need to take a break so that we can both mature. She said she is doing it for us and to save our relationship. Im very grateful that she wants to fix everything, but i cant stand to be without her. And when i asked her if i could lose her during this break she said "I don't know. People can change and the feelings too." Her estimate is that we take a break of 2 months I just don't know how i should take this, is this a way that shes trying to break up with me or will this break help?
am 25 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. We get along great, we spend all of out time together. We have been living separate because we both own our own homes.
I am ready to move in together, I think after 2 1/2 years with a person you know if you want to be with that person for the long term. Up to this point he keeps saying that it's a big step and he's not ready for it. I've pretty much been living with him, I hadn't staying at my place in over 3 months. All of my stuff is at his place, but I still feel like I am in Limbo, he doesn't know when he will be ready to live together, get married or have kids. I feel like I have been very patient but I decided on the weekend that i cannot stay with him unless he decides what he wants. I don't' want every step in our relationship to be a fight (living together, marriage, kids ect). I am not pushing him into marriage or kids but I need to know if we have the same plans for our future.
I told him 3 days ago that he needs to take some time to figure out what he wants. I've moved most of my stuff out of his house and we've only talked on the phone. I've been miserable because I love him so much and I'm afraid that he still won't know what he wants. I know I can't stay with him if he doesn't decide what he wants. But I feel so lost without him, I miss having supper with him, going to bed together and watching tv, and just talking about our day. I've never been in a relationship that I wanted to be long term and i'm afraid I'm about to lose it.
I'm trying to be strong, but I had a couple weak moments and called him. Last night he didn't call me to say good night so I called him in the morning to see why he didn't call. I'm afraid that this break is going to make us drift apart. I know I shouldn't have called, he said it was because he thought I wanted space and he was giving it to me. But I don't want space, I just want to give him some time to figure out what he wants.
I'm not sure what my question to you is. But any advise on my situation would be very helpful.
me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years.He is amazing and I am great,everyone says their world will be ruined if we broke up.But last night after a friends wedding we listed all the things we don't like about each other in front of a friend,first as a joke now...I can't forget it, he said i was pathetic and insulted me worst by saying I'll never be the artist i thought i will be( because I seem never committed to anything anymore).Since I have been with him he has grown so much career wise and emotionally..I have stopped; all of my creativity seems gone,work is just a job,my friends are not around and i frequently picture myself as a tapeworm living inside him.And I cant imagine being without him but then again I want to be alive.
My steady and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. We got together after he divorced his wife. He said he wouldn't have let the relationship continue as it has unless he was serious about us having a future - marriage - together. And he says that and then says but we'd better wait until two of the children graduate, at least another 2 years. (We live seperately). Meanwhile, I have recovered from the death of my husband, but he has not learned anything from the death of his first marriage. He asked for a break to get his act together. He gave me no deadline, said he would not date others, but didn't ask that of me, and told me he loved me. I believe he does. When I asked what he wanted from me, he said time. I am giving him time. But how much 'time' is reasonable? I don't want to be played for a fool, waiting for something that isn't going to happen.
Hi everyone, Ive been reading and i have my own little situation, wondering if anyone can give me some helpful advice.
My long distance girlfriend of 10 months (Love at first sight) has been incredibly stressed with all sorts of problems and ive been stressed with uni work. It got to a frenzy of stress and sleepless nights and the stupid thing is that there isnt really a huge problem between us, the stress is coming from (Mostly) else where.
So, she says she loves me and i mean the world to her. She wants to take a few days to clear her head and that we are together but temporarily single (On a break) she said shes not gonna go run off with anyone else cause she wouldnt do that and she just needs to think things through.
Im heartbroken cause i never want to lose her. Does a having a break end it a break up?
What can i do to convince her that we are (And we really are) a fantastic couple and that she should stay with me?
Peter
You know, work is a huge stressor. And not enough sleep is as well. I think maybe give her a few days - set a deadline - and ground rules - we are physically seperated, but not emotionally (therefore still a couple). I know the time apart can be spent concentrating on the things that need attention - work - and then she isn't feeling guilty nor are you for concentrating on work. This does need to be temporary, but can work.
Good luck,
Liz
Well we have talked and it seemed a weird situation... She told me that she wants to feel being single so she feels the longing and painful feeling telling her to run back into my arms. Because shes confused at the mo (about lots of things) she needs to feel it rather than think it... She said shes almost certain she will.... Should i relax and wait?
All along i felt i was the only who has got a relationship. My boyfriend of two months says heloves me but can not promise me marriage. he says talking about marriage makes him feel like dying. What does he mean? He once said that he does not want to get married but i feeli can change his mind. Three sisters after him are all married. Should i try all leave the relationship. Though we have known eachother for just two months i feellike i have known him for years because i have grown to love him so much. Please help me
All along i felt i was the only who has got a relationship problem. My boyfriend of two months says heloves me but can not promise me marriage. he says talking about marriage makes him feel like dying. What does he mean? He once said that he does not want to get married but i feeli can change his mind. Three sisters after him are all married. Should i try all leave the relationship. Though we have known eachother for just two months i feellike i have known him for years because i have grown to love him so much. Please help me because i am so confused.
very sorry about the repeatetion. A friend was teasing me and she typed her name and posted it again. She is brownny. She is asking me not to spend a day more in the relationship. I need advice from others too
Hey I have been goin out with my girlfriend for about a year and a half and we recently broke up for about a month already. We had many issues and fights while weren't going out, and now she's telling us that we should have a break. It's all cool to me because its true we do need a break but at the same time she ALWAYS calls me, and wants to hang out for a lil. I do not know what to do because I love her and I enjoy being with her, but at the same time I want to give her, her own space. I am really confused.
This goes with the my topic above aswell lol... What should I do ignore her calls? and cut her off? I really dont know what to do...
I have been reading this blog for so long trying to figure out what I should do. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I love him so much and until just recently thought he was one of the sweetest guys I knew. He is the perfect guy we talk to each other almost all the time, he is completly unselfish, and really cares about me. Him and I have talked about marriage anbeing together in the long run, and thats really what I want. The last month our relationship has gotten a little stretched but nothing major that would effect my feelings for him, nor his to me.
All through out our relationship he has had problems trusting me. I have never cheated on him and never expressed anything short of absolute love and devoution to him. But he wasn't treated the best with his other girlfriends so because he views me as so attractive he is constantly scared that I will leave him. I have stopped talking/texting/hanging out with any of my guy friends because I want our relationship to work. So far there has been two insidents in which I expressed a want to hang with some of my guy friends one on one and just chill, and he freaked out and got mad at me. This makes me really nervous that he is controlling.
I just moved about two hours away for the summer to be with my family, and in the Fall I will be an hour away from him. When I was moving I had one of my guy friends help me that had just recently come back into my life. I love my boyfriend so much, but I'm at a point in my life where I would like to date other people to make sure that my boyfriend really is the one for me.
We are both young, and start college in the Fall, but our plans with each other for the long run don't even begin until after college. I didn't date very many people in High School because of a long relationship that lasted for two years. So I've only ever really been single for about 2 months. I feel like I'm missing out on a huge part of the college experience, but I don't want to lose him. I just want to make sure that things between us are true and that we would last in the long run.
Ever since I moved I have been talking to my guy friend through text and call, which is something I have never done in a relationship, because I never wanted to make my boyfriends mad. The person that I have been talking to recently, I had a crush on two years ago while I was in a nasty relationship. So I was surprised when being with the person that I love and adore that I still have feelings for this person. I feel like a horrible person because I let myself like this person again.
I'm scared to go into a break because I don't want to destroy the relationship I have now, when I'm not sure if the person who I am begining to fall in love with, if our relationship would be better. I am more nervous that he is controlling and that I am going to through whats supposed to be the best years of my life down the drain. I know that if tell him that I think that we should go on a break that he would be devestated, and I really don't want that.
I am so confused... Any advice would be so helpful.
Signed,
Young confused and in love?
I'm sorry that should of said and year and a half. :)
You want to date other people so you know what you feel with your guy?
Thats not on Brittany, You really should know if hes the guy you want to be with.
My little story above described the situation that i was in. As an update it didnt work out and i ended the relationship this week becuase she didnt want to fight to keep me or put in any effort to see me.
I can understand why he gets moody about you wanting "1 on 1 time" with another guy if hes been messed about in the past... I was... and i wouldnt appreciate it if the girl i was with wanted time alone with another guy... Please correct me if im wrong but dating others to see if you still want to be with your fella isnt the way to go... Its cheating really..
im sorry, when I meant one on one time I meant like I couldn't go hang out woth boys id known for three years and go get lunch with them. But I posted this on here from the advice of my best friend and through further reading of it through the guys side I've realized that I can't do that. Most of the guy centered blogs refered to those girls as sluts and I know that I could never actually do anything physical with any one other than my boyfriend. Im going tomorrow to talk to him about everything, and hope that he can forgive me. I didn't want to develope feelings for this guy again it just happened and I hate myself for it. Thank you so much for your opinion the only people that I've talked to this about are the other guy and my bff who's fairly crazy. I don't want to be like those girls on the other blogs im just confused and thought that taking a break was supposed to help out, but I see now it isn't thank you so much!
Its always good to have someone elses opinion who doesnt know the in depth stuff who can just give their first opinions...
I wrote here just to get stuff off my chest because i had already bored my family with it all lol
I hope everything turns out ok, i hope you can do the right thing for yourself and the route which will make you happiest in the long run.
I personally feel that a break happens because there is something quite wrong with the routine you are in. With me it was the distance, 400 miles and being with a girl who couldnt/wouldnt give me any of her time.
I hope you manage to sort things out and just remember that you are the most important person in your life, its not nice to hear it but guys will and do come and go. Do what is best for you.
Let me know how it goes :)
Peter x
I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now. Everything has been great between us and our relationship is strong, but we are discussing me relocating to his state in a year. I'm divorced with children. My ex-husband has been a great father and the problem that we can't seem to resolve is relocating my children to another state which will take away from their happiness.(they won't see their father as often) I'm confused and now with the separation, I'm hurt and uncertain about our future together. My boyfriend and I are taking a break to think about things. Is there hope for us??? Can this be resolved?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two and a half years. Our whole realtionship weve been so happy together and he's been so nice and sweet. he would walk to my house everyday. on my birthday he walked to my house on top of a huge hill with a birthday cake in one hand and my present in the other. We've been so happy until a month after our two years together he cheated on me. it was just a kiss but it still hurt. i broke up with him and he did everything to get me back. he'd call me nonstop and wait outside my house for me to talk to him. finally i gave in and told him we'd talk....i then found out he was talkin to another girl at the same time he was trying to fix things with me. i talked to him about that and he said he wanted to know if he could b happy with someone else. he said he was happy with that other girl but the whole time he kept thinkin about me....he says he loves me and wants to marry me someday but says he isnt ready for a girlfriend. he says he doesnt want me or anyone other girl as a gf and he jus wants to work on his car and be around his friedns. but he also says he wants to stay friends because he still loves me and still wants to marry me one day....i dnt know what to do...i love him so much but at the same time i dnt want to wait for him and waste my time waiting if i dnt know how this will end. i tried getting over him and not talkin to him for a month but i cried everyday and misssed him soo much. rite now he says im his gf but he still would rather spend eveery second of his time with his friends than spend one day alone with me.....i dnt noe what to do.
You see what he is doing right? He loves you and does want a future with you just not right now, he wants to keep you close by becuase he doesnt want to lose you becuase that would mean he would be alone and he doesnt want you 100% because it must be "Getting in the way" of the whole mates thing.
In my opinion, If he wants to spend more time on his car and with his mates then let him. But let him know that you will not wait around for him. He will soon decide which of the things in his life mean the most to him. IF he chooses this other girl or his other interests then im sorry hun but he has made his choice and you both have to live with it, you have to cut contact or he will do everything he can to keep you close by.
He sounds nice, he sounds a little bit like me. But i would never text another girl with the way you are making it sound like he is. You need answers, you need to know who this other girl is... if he truely wants you as his girl... for life... or whether his car and mates are more important than you.
Last thing, I know cheating hurts, trust me i do, but a kiss can be forgiven. Try to get some answers and find out where you are in his life. That will give you a good idea of what you need to do with yours. If you need to you can get over him, im 2 months into my break up and im finally happy again.
Please let me know how it goes
Peter xx