When two people are involved in a committed relationship, it doesn't take very long before all of the fun, dazzle, and romance begins to wear off. Once this happens, couples may discover that they have many differences and begin arguing and fighting. First, it should be stated that the feeling of "being in love" never lasts. This is a proven scientific fact. All of the hormones, forgetfulness, and constant thoughts of each other lasts roughly the first two years of being "in love". After that, reality sets in and people begin to see each other without the rose colored blinders – faults and all.
It may be tempting to take a break in your relationship if you have been seeing each other exclusively, and then begin arguing and quarreling frequently. However, before deciding that this is the best road to travel, you will need to take some things into consideration. The first area to consider is that once you and your partner take a break, either one of you may decide to end the relationship. This is a serious reality and one that you should really consider before agreeing to take a break. However, most people agree that when one party feels that it is time to take a break, they have already been contemplating ending the relationship. So, with that in mind, if you absolutely do not want to end your relationship, you may want to discuss other options with your partner.
Before agreeing to take time off of your relationship, you may want to suggest seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you work through the issues that you are facing and can provide greater results than you can achieve by taking a break.
You should also realize that if you and your partner have unresolved issues, taking a break from your relationship would not solve them. If you have been fighting frequently, and want to take a break, when you get back together your problems will still be there. This is another reason why seeing a counselor is more advantageous than taking a break. If your relationship is to grow stronger and thrive, it is better to take care of the issues that are causing strain and disagreement, rather than avoiding them.
Sometimes, the idea of taking a break from a relationship seems like the best solution, however it may just be a way of running away from the real issues at hand. It should also be considered that the fact that you want to take a break might be a warning sign that your relationship has reached its end.
Finally, there is truth to the statement that separation makes the heart grow fonder. If you have tried counseling, and continue to fight, and aren't sure if you should end your relationship or not, you may want to agree to take a break. If you find that your heart is longing for the other person and you both agree to reunite, your relationship may be stronger than it ever was before. However, you should both be prepared for the possibility that your break may be the first step to the end of your relationship.
Chris,
Thank you for you very well-written, thoughtful post. While all our situations are a little different, there are definitely similarities and similar feelings of hurt and anxiety and of being left alone and it certainly helps to share thoughts and comments.
Peter,
I think you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
A little update from me...it's been a bit over a month since the ex moved out. First couple weeks were torture and she wouldn't even really correspond with me. Not that I made much of an attempt either, because I wanted her to be the one to reach back out.
Lately we've been talking a lot on e-mail, she'll call or text me a few times a day...just small talk mostly. She seems to be finding her feet and getting back to being happy, the hard part is, like Chris mentioned - that she's doing it without me.
Despite the communication there is still no real pull from her to want to be with me at this point. She says she misses me a lot but not in a way that she needs me or wants me around as her boyfriend/fiance/partner like she used to.
So I have asked her if she wanted to end things, to just make a break. She got flustered and said she thinks she needs more time to figure things out and just needs me to be a friend right now. She says it's not that she wants to be single, she just honestly is not sure she is in a state where she can love anybody like that right now. I know she's afraid if she cuts me loose, she's going to regret it. So she's trying to keep me at arm's length but still within touching distance while she sorts out her inner thoughts.
It's bizarre and frustrating for me but I really don't have a choice right now. I don't want to be "the friend" in the long-run, but for me to abandon her at the moment would surely crush any hope I or we have of working things out. In the meantime, I now have to battle my own thoughts about moving on, about trying to see other women. Which, at this stage, I do have thoughts about. I've been the most devoted and loyal person she's ever had in her life and now I feel I am being forced to emotionally and maybe someday even physically betray my own heart because I am so fed up. Those qualities which initially made me so attractive and appealing to her...I feel like she is pounding them out of me.
The battle continues...
Byron you and i have a very similar situation.. i know for a fact that my girl would regret the situation if she were to lose me so she is holding on barely..it has been two days for me and its hard it really is.. i talked to my love constantly all day and night and now to go to no contact is insane.. i read her letter a million times in a day.. hoping to see that text soon..
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a little over a year, and at first it was very much the honeymoon phase, so attached to eachother, made each other extremely happy.. It was perfect, but just yesterday I decided to take a break from him because I felt like he wasn't paying enough attention to me, kind of like he forgot how to be my boyfriend, like I was just there and he no longer made an effort, we barely talk and it always seems like he's so into something else... I wanted to take this break to figure things out and kind of clear the air I guess.
I don't feel like I will come back from this break, I feel like when he just let this break happen with not so much of a question on his mind that he wanted it to end, or that he doesnt care that we wont be talking for a while.
I love him but how am I supposed to hold onto a relationship that I feel just keeps on slipping through my fingers?
Ill be honest because thats all I am. Sounds to me that if he didnt bother to fight for you or ask questions about a break then whats the point in fighting for it yourself. If he doesnt realise what he has when he has it and wont fight then there really isnt much you can do.
You shouldnt have to do tests like breaks and breaking up just to see if that person cares. You need to decide if it is you he wants if not... hes not worth the time.
Peter
My botfriend and I of 1year and 2 months just went on a break due to that i needed to get myself back on my feet. So I told him that i was going to find a job and we'll be back to normal. Well for the past three days of being on this break, he kept telling me that were technally single and we can do whatever we want as dating wise. I almost cried because I know i don't want that & neither does he. He keeps saying that were in an open relationship and were not. He also told me when he told his friends thet hugged hima nd they were proud that we were on a break and I got more upset. i don't know what to do. Jobs suck now and i really want to be with him soon. I miss him so much and I love him and he won't tell me he loves me or misses me. I know he does but, I think he's not going to say it because, he'll go weak.
Him saying that you were in an open relationship and also telling you over and over that you are now single and can do what you want sounds to me like he wants to be on his own. Sorry to say it but hes telling you these things for a reason. Maybe its the same reason why hes not telling you he loves you.
He doesnt sound like hes trying to help you through this hes only trying to work out what hes allowed to get away with. Sorry but from what you have written it doesnt sound like a break is really what he wants... Maybe there is someone else?
If it was me I would concentrate on looking after yourself and walk away from this guy as it seems hes not 100% into this relationship and noone deserves that.
Peter
He is into the relationship 100% its just that not me & him r on a break he's completely isnt telling me anything. I don't think he's got anybody just how we were dating. I'm just thinking his friends are telling him what to do with me & him.
Hello,
Okay well I have been together with my girlfriend for 9 months now. I didn't think that anything was wrong with us. But after coming back from a trip to Arizona with my family, she texted me saying that we should take a break. Her reason was because she has really strong feelings for me and wants to take time to make sure they are real. But then again, she also said we wanted to date other people to make sure the feelings she has are real. I was utterly confused. We have been on a break for a week now and honestly, this week has probably been the most depressing week of my life. I have tried to get rid of depression by drinking (I have never gotten drunk all my life and I only got drunk to get rid of my thoughts and depression for a bit) Honestly, now I feel even worse than before.
And also I bought her a diamond necklace from Zales as her Christmas present and since i was out on my trip during Christmas i couldn't give it to her. So I have a necklace just sitting there and I want to give to her because it reminds me too much of her and it brings back my depression. I want to give to her even though we are on a break, but I don't want to give her such a meaningful gift if there is something I may not know. What if she cheated on me during this break? Or cheated on me before the break and she wanted to take the break for that reason? I honestly don't know. I just want to her to know that I will always be there for her and that I care very much about her and I just want to know if she feels the same way.....
I'm going through a very difficult situation. I never thought I would need to express myself online, but after seeing the positive feedback on this thread I knew I had to try.
I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 years. I am really her first love and I have a little more experience relationship-wise. We started out as a long distance relationship. She was in College and I was working. Living about 5 hours apart, everything was great and I would visit her often. We got along very well and every part of our lives meshed well together.
Before her last semester in college, she decided to drop out and move back with family. She also decided that she wanted to move to another city to pursue a dream. Back home, she found a job and started saving money. I supported her decision and encouraged her to pursue her dreams. During this time, I had been working on my own venture outside of my regular job and it was taking up a large portion of my extra time. I struggled to find time for everything in my life (family, our relationship, work, and my own business).
Around our 4 year anniversary, she dropped the bomb on me that she had thoughts of breaking up. Ever since she came home, we hadn't spend enough time together and (like others on this forum) she expressed that I had become complacent in the relationship and was taking it for granted. She felt that she could do better than me, while I couldn't do better than her (emotionally not physically). She expressed that much of her family and friends didn't think I was right for her, and that I didn't bring out the best in her. She mentioned that she had been feeling disconnected for almost a year.
I took it very hard and was very hurt. I was also angry at her for not communicating this with me earlier. I felt as though I had been oblivious to all of our problems the whole time and now felt that I failed as a boyfriend without warning. I couldn't sleep that night and the next day I tried to think rationally about our situation. I felt strongly that if she had brought things up to me earlier, we would have been able to resolve them. I was afraid that now it would be too late. I spoke to her the next day and expressed that I do want to bring out the best in her and that I wanted to fix all these problems. I also told her that if we were going to work through this, I would need her help. The problems were so deep rooted that I would need her to communicate to me every time she noticed an aforementioned problem.
From then on I tried hard to address each issue. I spent more time with her family (even though it was incredibly hard to face them knowing what they thought of me). I made contact more often and my eyes were opened to all of the little things I was missing. Things like special occasions (which I took for granted before) and time together. Two months passed and I was still getting no help from her. She still seemed disconnected. I brought it up to her and she agreed. I had no idea what to do.
I admire so much about this girl and feel that she is the one. I really feel like our love is real and incredibly deep. I fear that her lack of experience in relationships is clouding her thoughts. I want her to know that what we have is truly unique and that it's not found often.
Because of these feelings, about a week ago we both decided to take a break from our relationship. We both have big things coming up. She's moving to a new city at the end of this month and I'm still busy with my work. After expressing our feelings and ideals about what this could do for us, we parted ways. We told each other to take care of ourselves and pursue our dreams. We promised to speak again before she leaves town to see how we feel. The initial assumption on both ends was that we'd be separated for almost a year.
It's been horrible this past week and everything seems to remind me of her. I've been trying to keep myself occupied but since the extra time I've acquired was time I would have spend with her, the thoughts always return. Was it the right decision for us? Will we get back together after so long? Should I take charge and refuse to let go? At this point, I'm just trying to stay level-headed. I want to think rationally and avoid impulse decisions, but I'm just so afraid of losing her forever.
For now, I'm riding the sands of time.
Thanks for listening.
So, almost 3 years ago (in february) I met the most amazing person in my life. I am 21 years old and the female is 19. She came after a long 2.5 year relationship in high school.
Things were all so great for the first 1-2 years. Since then, we have seemed to become routine with each other. There are many factors that take play in our situation.
She wants a break so that we can see other people before committing to each other. I think this is fair enough as I have only been in 2 relationships... but is she feeding me a load of crap?
There is another guy that works with her. He gets around to quite a few girls. She told me nothing would happen with him, but there has been another of playful wrestling between them and they have kissed a few times. A strange side to this is that I know about EVERYTHING. I know exactly how they kiss, where they are, who goes for who, where the hands are, ETC. I am that close to her and we have built that bond strongly that she can tell me everything.
Yet, I still feel that I have trust issues. My last girlfriend was a rough ending and now I feel that I cannot trust anyone completely. I only trust her 99%
Another aspect of the relationship is that I have been working graveyards the past 6 months. I have only 15-30 minutes a day to see her during the week. It's hard, but shouldn't that be a break in itself?
Over the past few weeks we have been on our break. Seen each other a few times on the weekends but haven't stayed for a night. ALCOHOL IS BAD!!! We went to a movie 3 days ago and had a VERY enjoyable night together. She told me that she would contact me soon... I don't know what that means. I expected it to be a day or 2, but I'm not sure what she is thinking. Maybe the line, "actions speak louder than words" she always says... is coming into play?
I Love her. She loves me. It's hard to believe when she doesn't want to see or talk to me. I guess I may just need to get my life straightened out and let her do the same. I', just afraid she will leave me when I'm gone. :(
I've been with a girl for two years, and I love her more than anything. There is a significant age difference, I am about 12 years older than her. Everything was fine for about a year, but when the initial buzz of the romance wore off, the needy monster in me took over. I began to spend all my time with her, as if a moment away from her would be the beginning of some great rift in our relationship. No matter how often she reassured me about her love, it never seemed to be enough, and I constantly queried her about this (she calls herself my "reassurance punching bag"). My confidence took a nosedive, and every discussion we had about the state of our relationship only deflated me more. We are now about to take the dreaded "break", a word that made me feel like a black hole had opened within me (trite, I know).
So I'm scared. Terrified. What-ifs abound and I fear that this is the end, even though she assures me it's not. I understand I have issues and I want to work through them. I know that we both need to be individuals in order for our relationship to be healthy. But I'm still scared. Is that wrong? And I'm so sad and worried. When the break starts, I have no idea what I'll do. And my kids have grown to love her too. What will they think? What can I tell them? Can this be a good thing?
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 10 months and we just recently broke up. The relationship is strong however we do seem to fight frequently. The fighting isn’t always her fault or my fault, but I’m probably responsible for 65% of it. I can be difficult at times and although I’m working on my patience, it takes some getting used to a relationship for me (I’m 34, she’s 30). My last relationship was 4 years long and the breakup was really bad so I’m nervous about getting close to someone else. I’ve pushed her away at times but I just couldn’t help but let her in.
Anyway, she’s going through depression and she told me I should stay away from her so that she can work this out and help herself. The following day we got into a really bad fight on the phone (I was on some strong medication at the time) and she ended things. We haven’t really spoken since then (it’s been 3 weeks) but she is planning to take me out for my birthday. This will be the first time we’ll see each other since the breakup.
I don’t know if she needs time to work on her depression or if she is trying to process the breakup. I don’t know what to expect when I see her for my birthday. We’ve broken up before but always seem to work things out when we see each other in person. We care for each other a lot but I think some counseling would be a good idea for both of us.
Right now I’m more focused on helping her than us getting back together, but it’s really hard to not talk to her or see her.
Thanks
Mike
My boyfriend and I started hanging out in May 2009. Everything was going great. We spent a great deal of time together, but still managed to have our own lives seperately. He was working and going to school as I was doing the same thing. We met each other's families on the 1st of July and my family loved him and his family loved me. On July 4th, he asked if we could be exclusive and I agreed. Everything seemed to be great. We were talking about our future and he brought up marriage and kids. A few days later, he planned a romantic dinner and told me he loved me and I was everything he could ever want and more.
Then all of a sudden he started pulling away at the beginning of September. He wouldn't come over and rarely texted or called me. I know he had been hurt really bad in previous relationships, so I tried to reassure him that he could come to me with any doubts or concerns, but he never returned any on my calls or emails. After not hearing from him in three weeks, his mother called me and told me he lost his job in September and was kicked out of school because he couldn't make his tuition payments. A week later, he sent an email saying that he shouldn't have neglected me the way he did and he's depressed and can't do this anymore. In my frustration, I responded by saying have a nice life. Since that night, he has been texting me randomly saying how much he loves and misses me. He continues to use our pet names from the when we were dating, but states that he has so much to worry about and isn't ready for a relationship right now. I'm so confused because his mom, dad, and sisters still don't know what's going with him. He still hasn't found a job and his bills continue to pile up.
I want to be there for him, but I don't want him to think I am doing this to win him back. I love him and I want him to get through this because he has such a bright future ahead of him. I don't know what I am supposed to do at this point.
Thanks,
Tresa
Hi there,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months now. Recently, I've felt that things have not been the same...the excitement is just no longer there and I have found that we have some personality conflicts. He's my neighbor and I feel that we moved too fast for our own good. We are currently on a break and I'm not sure what to do. How do you know if someone is really the one for you? If you feel that the person you are with is not the one for you, is that a reason to let the relationship go?
Thanks,
Alex
My GF and I were together for about 3 years. We have lived together for the past two years. Everything seemed to be great in out relationship abd we were both madly in love with each other. We both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our livies with the other. To begin, she would always be the one that encouraged us to become engaged and I always told her we would when the time and money was right. About 3 months before we split She picked out a ring and I began to pay for it through layaway. After that we began to look at houses to buy. I know its a little crazy to buy a house with someone you are not married to but we knew we would be someday. Again the house thing was all her idea. She would also name our future kids and actually contemplate having kids with me now. It seemed that we were the perfect couple. She got me thru my dads death a few years ago and I seemed to help her get through a lot of though times. We have no trust issues and bicker about little things but never really had a major fight.
About the first of the month, after we had already had an offer accepted on a house, she told me that she was unsure about everything in our relationship and began to have cold feet about everything. I thought maybe she would get thru this but she didnt. The same day she told me that she also was at the hospital all day with her family as her mammaw just had open heart surgery and when she saw hew mammaw on the ventilator my Gf actually passed out.
She says she still loves me and cares about me dearly, but feels that things arent right. She says that she has been very depressed for a while with her job and money sitaution and the house thing scared her.
I love her so much and want to be back together with her but she says she doesnt think she can be with me. Its allso confusing, because she has done a 180 in the last month.
My GF and I were together for about 3 years. We have lived together for the past two years. Everything seemed to be great in out relationship abd we were both madly in love with each other. We both knew that we were going to spend the rest of our livies with the other. To begin, she would always be the one that encouraged us to become engaged and I always told her we would when the time and money was right. About 3 months before we split She picked out a ring and I began to pay for it through layaway. After that we began to look at houses to buy. I know its a little crazy to buy a house with someone you are not married to but we knew we would be someday. Again the house thing was all her idea. She would also name our future kids and actually contemplate having kids with me now. It seemed that we were the perfect couple. She got me thru my dads death a few years ago and I seemed to help her get through a lot of though times. We have no trust issues and bicker about little things but never really had a major fight.
About the first of the month, after we had already had an offer accepted on a house, she told me that she was unsure about everything in our relationship and began to have cold feet about everything. I thought maybe she would get thru this but she didnt. The same day she told me that she also was at the hospital all day with her family as her mammaw just had open heart surgery and when she saw hew mammaw on the ventilator my Gf actually passed out.
She says she still loves me and cares about me dearly, but feels that things arent right. She says that she has been very depressed for a while with her job and money sitaution and the house thing scared her.
I love her so much and want to be back together with her but she says she doesnt think she can be with me. Its allso confusing, because she has done a 180 in the last month.
What do i do?
Me and my gf of 2 an 1/2 years are on a break on her will. Is there anyone out there who has been on a break and the girl has came back or is she just letting me off easy? Her friend called me and said that she has told her that she misses me and thinks we will be fine but just needs space, so her friend told me to wait.....
just wondering if anyone has been in the same situation and had a happy ending?
It sounds positive mate. If it was me I would be patient... Keep your distance and give her the space she needs... Her mate wouldn't be saying that if it was just a way to get rid of you. Breaks can help a relationship, but only if you do it right. I hope all goes well.
this is what her mom told me.....what do I do?
Jon this is between you and I but I dont think she has givin up on you.
she just told me she needs some time to be single before she gets married and so forth.But to me she still would go back with you.Now thats how I took it.And I know there is no one else.I wouldnt lie to you.
Everytime she does this I feel bad for you.Cause we like you so well.I thought you were going to come here and go to school.But she said she just needs space for a while.And if she goes to Cancun I think Im going with her.I just want her safe.Shes had 3 boyfriends since high school and each time she broke up with them it was hard for me cause I just get use to them.I liked Nathan but I didnt like him cheating oon her.So in that case it was a she lgood thing.I think ooks at me being married at a young age and she just wants to be single for a while.But I do things and I wouldnt have it any other way for me.I want o do something without Jay I do it. We both have our space. But I just know there is no one else.I will keep you updated on things.
My bf and I have been together for almost 6 years. We had broken up after 5 years and it was only a few months into the break up when we started spending time together. Soon enough we were back together and working through the issues. We recently moved into our own place, for the first time with no room-mates (which we have always had the past 3 or 4 years) Everything was going well. We agreed on things and we were happy. We have only been there for about 7 or 8 weeks, and the past 4 I have been depressed and unhappy with our relationship. Things are so smooth, almost to smooth. We go out seperately a lot due to our schedules, but neither of us are concerned or really ask about each others times. For example I went out and had a drink and neither of us are for drinking nad driving so I stayed with my brother at his friends, and my boyfriend was at home. I came home, and he was just like, did you have a good time.. cool. And that was it. It is like we just don't have that care factor with certain things anymore. We have grown complacent with where we are at. I don't really know where he is at, he seems to put out a similar vibe, but is also showing how happy he is. I am not sure how to bring this up to him, as I do not want to hurt him, I do love him.. I just don't know if we are in love or just comfortable with one another and afraid we won't find someone else down the road. I am just very lost, and I want to try to make things work, but at the same time, I don't know what I want, and I don't want to hurt him. I also have found myself finding interests in another man and just wanting something different or more for myself.. and I dont know if that is because of what is happeneing within my relationship or what... Just lost and confused. But time will tell all. I mean he has his issues that I have always had problems with, but they are getting better and I am sure vice versa for him. I know everything will work out, whether it be together or apart.
Me and my BF have been together for 2yrs and 10mo. to be exact. Our relationship is great and we have had more good times than bad. And we've been really happy. But I've been away from him for 2weeks now over him being very in-sensitive over a serious conversation we had about planing to have a baby. He's wanted to have a baby but Im just not quite as ready. Any how, We finally had a talk yesterday, and he gave me the "I want to take a break". Before we even talked he started the conversation like this "I want a break...a long break for a couple months, i think we should see other people and see what happends from then". I asked if we could just talk things over and work on our relationship, but he had made his decision. Im just hurt over him not trying to make an effort to just talk about it. And him just making his mind up with out coming up to me about it and finding a solution. But here's the iceing on the cake that just hurt me to the core. His reason for wanting a break is because I've denied him a couple of times for sex. I will let you know that we have great sex about 6x's a week and maybe at times it has not been 6x's a week. There are times when i dont feel my sexiest or Im just not in the mood. But its not like we have'nt had sex in a month or anything. It really made me feel like all the other real issues we could of taken a break for or broken up for and didnt ...why now? After all the things Ive done for him and gave him all my heart & made so much effort in this relationship... is just out the window because I've said no a few times. And this was actually the 1st I've ever heard about this. It just made me feel like thats all that matters to him, like Im just a sexual object to fulfill his needs. I feel like thats all that was holding this relationship. I understand sex is one of important elements to keep a happy relationship but I dont believe its the main thing to hold a relationship. I feel he forgot about our love we shared and all the small things that once matterd. I dont know? He wanted to take a break. I didnt want that and Im not going to waite around to find out if he wants to be with me. Its either he does or he does'nt. Am i being 2 sensitive? Is he being fair? Am I being fair to break up and not agree with a break? Is this a good enough reason to have a break over? Was this an excuse for him wanting to be with another? I am just so confused on how we were having talks of having a baby and moving to Oregon and had plans together ...now this? It just does not make sense. I dont feel I deserve to be treated like this, do you think its best to move on?
Well..me and my girlfriend have been back together for almost 2 years...but last Sunday she told me she wants to take a break. I had a feeling on Saturday, when we got back from the movies. Things kind of felt awkward but I tried to let it go...only to find out on Sunday from my girl that she wants a break for her to do some soul-searching and whatever else she needs to figure out. So just for now we are Best Friends...I know its going to be hard to accept that right now...but I know it's not going to be forever. I feel like she is lost herself in our relationship...I'm so deeply in love with her and she was too...but now she seems to see me more as a friend...I honestly think she fell out of love with me...it was very strong since we met in Sept.08...it was only till I believe Feb. that she felt like her love has changed for me. This is pretty much my first long term relationship as well as for her and I know were pretty young...she'll be 19 in April and I'll be 20 in August...I know she needs sometime and I'm willing to wait for her...I don't want to seem like I'm settling for her, because that's not the case...I don't see myself with anyone else...I already know that my girl is probably going to get with this girl she met when she was working, which was way before she told me that she wants to take a break...I admit, I'm very jealous, but on the other hand, I know she needs to explore for her to realize that she wants to be with me even more...and to me it makes sense that for us to be together again she needs sometime for her to do some soul-searching. I don't know how to explain it...but I know that she is the one and only one for me. I just want me and her to be back together, I know not now, but when we're living out on our own...that's when a fresh relationship can start...I think that is what we need in order for us to be together.
I just want to be assured...I guess...
~
Me & my Bf been together for a year & 5 months & expecting in June. All the sudden he wants a "Break". I know we dont see each as much as he likes or thinks i dont want to go out when im with him, but he tells me that he's busy working ( Nights) & I go to school in the afternoon, "when is the right time to see each other?"...I never been with some one who wanted a break before. How long does this last?
All i keep think about is Him! I went to his house today to give back his movie we were suppose to watch together & he was holding my hand & took me to his room so we can talk...He was hugging & holding me. I didnt know what to think, Is he giving me mix signals so I think everything is gonna be okay? Or was he doing this because he knows he still wants to be with me but really does need a break?
After we talked, he was a gentlemen & walked with me to the bus stop, once the bus came i just walked without lookin back but he grabbed my hand & kissed me.
I really hope ever is gonna be ok....Hope!
I'm sorry to say, most relationship breaks do not work. My girlfriend and I went on vacation overseas for 4 nights and 5 days. The destination ended up being a pretty bad choice, and she was really stressed and unhappy while there. On the plane ride home, she asked for a break so she could have time to herself and just get some breathing room. She wanted to set some "ground rules" like 1.) No seeing other people and 2.) She would need 2 months, which seemed stupid as all hell to me that she would even think about this for so long as to make rules. Anyway, we didn't talk for a good 6 weeks, and eventually she called and said I can't date you anymore. I believe that it was her way of her getting used to living without me and she also probably had hopes that it would help me adjust to life without her too. She premeditated the break up the whole way I think. BOTTOM LINE: Depends on the situation, but more oftentimes than not, ASKING FOR A BREAK IS A COWARD'S WAY OF BREAKING UP.
I met my boyfriend and we've been dating for 7 months (he had to move back to Paris for work). 3 months of our relationship was long distance. Anyhow, recently he finally told me that he really cares for me and loves me, we talked and he suggested that we take a break. He mentioned at the moment,the situation that we're in,he said because of he's about to start a new job, the time difference (I live in Singapore, where we met and both grew up in the same town) and I'm going to be busy too...he said it's best we take a break and relax, he said 'let go a little'. He said it's not because he doesn't care but he's got so much on his mind at the moment, and he doesn't want to end up fighting or hurting me if we aren't able to spend as much time talking etc. (Before this, since he left 3 months ago, we've managed to talk almost everyday without fail video chat, n text each other, n emails once in awhile. We rarely argue, but I admit...he grew distant when he got stressed about finding a job. I'm sad because I love him so much, but at the same time I think it's necessary that I step away from him too, and give him time. We promised that we'd still be there for each other and this is not a goodbye, he said things may change for the better, n that there's nothing to be sad about (there is still a possibility that he may transfer back to work in Singapore). I am just worried that this 'break' will mean the end of my relationship with him, we have shared so much in our relationship and it was going so well...up until he began to worry about the distance etc. He said he can't live without me being close to him for 2 yrs (thats how long he might be posted in Paris). He said it wouldn't be fair to me, or him. He said perhaps when things are better, when we are closer and things have settled down and are much stable, then we can be together. (B4 this I was supporting him emotionally, while he was trying to find a job, and I was already working). I appreciate his honesty, but I am worried that he will forget about us and completely 'disappear'. I am trying my best to stay strong, this is one of the healthiest relationships I've ever been in for awhile, so it hurts even more to have to 'let go' of him and our relationship.
I just want to know if taking a break can help a relationship more, or will it cause a relationship to wither and die? Does taking a break cause more negative impact or positive? or does it all depend on how long you've known each other etc?
Would appreciate some opinions on this. Thanks.
My fiance and I have been together for a little over 5 1/2 years, we always make time for each other no matter what...until about a month ago when my fiance started spending less time with me. I've asked him about it and he tells me that he's going through a difficult time at the moment, but will not talk to me about what he's going through. He tells me not to take it personally, but then makes mean comments towards me. I don't understand what is going on, and I keep questioning myself.....did I say or do something to upset him....did he meet someone else? I have all these questions and no answers because he won't tell me whats going on with him. I love him so very much, I don't want to lose him. He suggested we take a break be fore we fall out permanently. Is this a good or a bad thing? I'm giving him his space, but I'm so scared because I don't know what he's going through. Please advise me A.S.A.P. Thank you....
Christina
these times seem to be very confusing, it started about 8 motnhs ago i met this awsome girl, at the time she had been in a on and off relationship for almost 2 years, i had just broken up with a girlfriend. so we started hanging out, for about 3 months we became the best friends, we would talk everyday, we became very affectionate but always kept our boundaries of friends. we did evrythng together, we became a couple in front of evryones eye without even knowing, rumors started and as always people got in the way. we began to have discusions but what really changed evrythng was her ex bf. he had come back home from where he works outside the country and thats when she realized still had feeleings for him. they got back together and me in great need of smeone took my ex girlfridend back. few months went by and i fell in love with my ex, we were going great, i hadnt talked to the other girl in so long all i really cared about was my gf. the problem with my gf was her father, her father being a crhistian pastor was not accepting of me, event tough i did evryhting and i mean everything in my power t get him to accept me after months of trying i began to lose hope. i began to see my gf in secret for about an hour daily. she began to skip school and l
ie to see me, it def got out of hand. suddenly all the lying and sneaking around got back to us, and thats the downfall to our relationship. we didnt see eachother for a while and durgin that time i began to hang out with the other girl that i had mentioned, she was goign trhough some hard times, she had been fighting with her boyfriend a lot and once again he was goign away so things didnt seem to look better. we started haging out like old times, doing everything together, went to curch, gym, movies
everywhere, little by little i began to feeel feeeling for her, she as she doesnt express her feeeling kept shut from expressing anything i had no way of telling what
she felt for me, it was confusing,,,
this confused me a lot i was on the line of ruining a friendship or being sincere. not to say i still had a compromise with my so called gf whom i saw once a week... anyways feeelins
grrew with time and very soon she had replaced my girlfriend place and i had replaced her boyfrend place. though we had never kissed or anyhting. she was able to tell me everything and trust me with everyhting and same with me, i had never opened up to a person like that in my life, she showed me thing s i never knew showed me a new me. she told me my defects and so with her self i over came them, i began to fall in love with her. tme went past and for my gf i was still the same old hidding eveyrhting and expressing fake emotions towards her. she was convinces everyhtnng was still lik before. she had never done anything towards our relationgship, never worked on getting he rfathe rto accept me, demonstrated that i didnt matter to her. strated seeing thing i didnt like about her, my feeeling towards her grew less and leesss... the other girl had been there for me all the time si needed someone, she knew exactly who i was, was aware of everything in my life, and same with me, i began to read her, i could tell eveyrhting from her eyes, and she could too. we grew into a state of realtionship so deep it felt perfect. this feeling ended one day we went camping, we had a few drinks and what ended up happening was we ended up having sex, out of nowhere for we had enevr even kissed or even thoguh about it. we had soeberd up after the eond time we did it that night. when feeling came in and we both felt like crap. she had just cheated on her bf and me too. though they had never really been thetre for her as me, we still had comrpomises. the following days this girl swore to never talk to me again stated that she hated me. she had never cheated on anyone, and felt horrible. and as for me as bad as it may sound i had not though of my gf, all i really cared about was her, i did everyhting to make her feel special and maye not hate me again. days went by and we had spoken we deicded it was just mixed feelings, and the xcuse we were both drunk.and so our relationship went back to normal, hungout evryday like normal. i began to feeel bad for my gf for i didnt want to hurt her, she was a good person and though ha dbeen a bad gf didnt deserve me cheating on her, but i did not have the balls to tell he ri cheated on her, so i began to act different, no affection no nothing, i figured we ended in a good way before i hurt her. we eneded up breking up on good terms i felt i was good because we had nothing no future together nothing, and i was in love with the other girl. like i said everything went back to normal, until one day we had sex again, this time very unexpectadly, he difference was we were not drunk, she felt bad afterwards cause she was officialy stilll with her bf. and confused of why these things werehappening. we took time apart, she broe up with her bf, and we began to hangout again, this time not just as friends, we have been together for almosta months now, not counting the time while we were dating other people. eveyrhint was good we had our problems but we were able to fix them, right until my ex started problems, she had found out about me and the other girl she started rumors evryhting she could, she got her father the pastor to talk to the other girls mother to tell i was a bad person and that all id do is play around with her daughther. this was nt true at all for i am in love iwth this girl and i care abut her and her family a lot. i hve been there for her, her mother, grandmother and her little borther for a while. they have become my little family away form my own, i feel attched to them, and care about them all. so what happened and why im wirint gthis today is becausethis girl has asked for a break, she is mad that i did not defend her when she was getting yelled at by my gf older sister or while her mom was being spoken to by my ex family. we had also been sneaking around, we come from a very traditional place, as part of our culture we ask the parent for her daighters hand. we had been sneaking around, her mom was not aware tht something more than a fvriendship has arised, we began to act like a real couple, and even plan for the future. and what hurts me more is she out of anger says that never wante dot see me again. though she nirmlly speak and doent mean it when shes angrt it get me, now she wants time and i miss her, she has become such a big part of my life i dont know hat to do, it been 4 hours and all i do is think about her and what i can do to show her i am the man for her, that i may have my errors but i learn frm them, she claims we began too fast, she used the example that her ex may have been horrible but he atleast gave her value and stuck up for her, i want o make it up to her but she asked me to leave her laone that she would find me when shes ready, i am really sad because evrythign could have been better if i had just defended her, i dont want to lose evrything we had for an error like that. i love this girl, could anyone give me some advice onw hat i should do? i would really appreciate it i dont really have people to tlk to i dont normally exprexx my stuff though maybe this might help ease.
Okay so I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years and about 6 or 7 months ago I started doubting and questioning my feelings for him because of a situation that happened with another man. I didn't cheat by any means but I was extremely attracted to him and I began comparing my boyfriend to him. I loved my boyfriend more than anything prior to this event and I still loved him and I tried to deny all my doubting feelings for the longest time. I wanted nothing more than just to be happy with him and not compare him to anyone anymore. Anyway these doubting feelings were getting stronger and stronger until finally I became depressed about them. I couldnt get out of bed and all I did was mope around crying. It was making me insane and finally I decided to go on a break or something, we didn't really clarify what was happening. I instantly felt better. But my heart is missing him more than anything. I can't stand the thought of other men right even the one that sparked my doubting. I can't stand the image of him wanting another girl as well. Yesterday thought I drove by his house and I felt that doubting feeling overcome me again. What I hope most out of this break or break up is that I realize exactly what was missing in our relationship and that there is no other man that could compare to him. I just hope he is still there for me even after all I have done. I just don't know how to handle the situation because I don't want to lead him on during this break nor do I want to completely let him go.
@ Christina
I know this is extremely hard for you but you must realize that if someone is genuinely falling out of love it would be best to deal with it now than later when there are children involved and lawyers. What I recommend to you is to sit him down and say that he needs to make a decision and whatever he chooses you will support it. Tell him not to worry about your feelings and that you will be fine with whatever choice he makes. If he genuinely needs time he will tell you. If he has just lost courage to end your relationship hopefully he will tell you also.
I have been with mt boyfreind for 3 years and 3 months. We never fight. About a month ago I got drunk and told him I wasnt happy anymore. He basically told me he loved me and nothing was wrong in our relationship. So i believed everything was fine and I was just stressed out due to other things. Well now 2 days ago he tells me he needs a break and that he loves me but his heart is not in this relationship. So when I go to get my stuff he says it was a good idea when he was drunk but not anymore. What does that mean? He cried and said he was making the biest mistake of his life. Well we decided to take a few weeks to figure stuff out but I am so confused on what to do. Any responses would be appreciated.
thanks
Veronica
Okay, so I have a fiance. We didn't even date actually, it's weird. But it all started when I told him I was attracted to him, and he said me too, but never once asked me to be his girlfriend. We say things to each other like a couple would, but I was confuse cause we weren't even dating; so one day, I asked him "What exactly are we?" And he said he doesn't know either. I was lost cause I fell in love with him, but realized we weren't even together. Then one day, he asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. I can tell he's serious about me too, and it's only been 3 months. You may say we're moving way too fast, but we're not little kids, we know what we're doing. But recently his mother passed away, and he basically isolated himself from EVERYONE. Well, he barely talks to me. I tried my hardest to comfort him, but failed... So s couple days ago, I exploded. I told him he needs to move on with his life and stop being so depress. It was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help myself but shout those words at him. I hurt him so much and I really regret it. He said he's not angry at me, but is still very very upset with me... What exactly should I do now? I texted him, that I'm going to stop bothering him for now to let him cool off, but he never texted back. Help??
Hi my boyfriend/best friend have been having issues I've only been with him about nine months. As a child I was sexually assaulted. My boyfriend & I made love many times. he was my first. He bought me roses the next day. He use to tell me I was the most beautiful girl he knew. He used to call me every night, be so excited to kiss me. but now he sits next to me in class & ignores me crying. Is mean to me. doesn't compliment me anymore want to hold my hand & kiss me. I can't get over the fact he took my virginity. I'm terrified to see him with another girl I miss the sweet boy I met & feel in love with. What can I do
Thank you ron Z and all for simply having this blog.
I just initiated a break in my relationship of ten months. My girlfriend
is truthfully busy starting her own company as well as being a mom and often times not being able to go out as much while her child is not in school or camp this summer.
What i did have a problem with was that our phone conversations, texts and emails became one sided in the sense that i would interject things like "miss you" or any of the other pet names of affection, (sugar, baby, honey) into my conversations. On her end she literally
stopped using any terms of affection or the sexual fun banter we would have. I let it go for about a month since i know she is under a great deal of pressure.
I had said specifically the other day that i noticed that whenever i had expressed myself in a way that was more than a friend (sugar, honey) or when i would express a romantic dinner or a concert she would not reply but would instead initiate an email about how tough things are and could i help her understand how to do this or that-and of course i did!
Her direct reply to me was that "it sucks for me" and that she was "sorry". Yeah it does suck for me, but at that point since we were already becoming emotionally distant i initiated a break for a month.
She mentioned she understood bc she was in the same space with a guy who could not give her any time in that relationship bc he was working to get ahead-so she understands maybe on some level why i am frustrated but i feel like she is doing the same thing to me but fails to see the one thing i needed was some verbal affection from time to time just to know she cared in the absence of seeing each other and i don't think that is a lot to ask for. her last reply on this matter was that "it sucks for me" and "sorry".
Hi Patrick, its not something that, under normal circumstances, is a lot to ask for until you get to a point when one of the party is under pressure. Then it turns into one more thing on their list of things that they need to sort out. A partner should be someone to make life easier when life gets difficult.
8 months isn't long into a relationship to start having breaks and doesn't make a fantastic start to it all. If you are the one who has started.the break.then surely you know how the break will ideally end...? Even if there are pressures and stresses the spark and loving convo should not already have gone. I'm very much like you in the way I need to hear those things but I have also learned that yelling at her or asking her to say them more will get you no-where.
Was a break your only option?
Peter
Hello, i have being in a relationship for 5yrs now. My boyfriend started been distant for about 4months ago. He says things are not the same anymore. He doesn't love me the way he use to. And would like us to take a break,say 6months. I have agreed and am so scared i will lose him. Please help me.
Hi I was in a relationship for a yr and a few mths up until two weeks ago. He said he wanted a year break to get over the things i did to him. What he means by the things i did to him was the fact that he broke up with me I went to go and see a good friend of mines to talk to him about the situation and he tried to hit on me....little did i know the next day my man was going to take me back...that happened in july a few months later he was telling me things back and forth...and my best friend said hey lets go hang out i went with her and bumped into an old guy friend ive known for years..that same night we went to his house because i almost crashed my car due to tiredness..he tried to rape me...i called him and he was extremely mad at me and believed i was lying little did he know the guy was literally threatening his life saying he would find out where he lives and kill him....the guy im talking about is the guy that tried to rape me...now my man wants a year break...we said we wasnt going to take anyone else and we r truly in love with one another...and now jus like that hes in another woman...i havent ate...sleep...and my heart is killing me....what to do?
I am on day 10 of "the break". My boyfriend of 3 yrs decided that we needed to take a break. This came out of the blue, and was very shocking to me. He says he doesn't know where his life is going, and if we are right for eachother. I know that his job is a huge area of stress for him, so I know this is a factor. This is the first long term relationship for both of us, and I recently moved into his house. I think that this was too quick for him. I have since moved out, but some of my stuff is still there, I still have a key, my mail still goes there. Despite my best efforts, I did text him to tell him that I was thinking about him and that I missed him. He texted me back the same. I am thinking about going to see his parents and talking to them. I don't think he has talked to anyone about why he wants to take a break. He tells me that I can still call him if I need to. I am thinking about asking him to meet and talk to see if there is anything we can do to work things out. I know there are some things I have done, after a week of reflection, that made him feel this way. What should I do? So very confused and I don't want to stress him out more, I just want to help him.
Hi Guys,
I am very new to this website, but I am glad I have found it. My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2. We have 2 beautiful children, and the past 6 years have been the best any man could wish for.
The other night my wife told me she wants a break, as she is unhappy with our relationship. We had a huge fight last year over something I done (I didnt cheat before anyone thinks that), but what I done lost her trust. We worked at the problem, and she agree to fogive and forget for which I was eternally grateful.
I changed everything when she forgave me, and became the best husband I could. I abided to her new rules which were set out in stone, and went over and above try to please her. Since then we have been getting on great, until a few days ago where she told me she is unhappy. She has asked for a breal, meaning I move back in with my parents, and she stays in the house.
I have asked her to try counselling, which she does not want to do, so Ihave to try and grin and bare it until she figures out what she really wants.
I am devestated. I love my wife more than anything, and dont want to lose her. How long should I leave it before I contact her as I havent heard anything for 3 days. Im starting to slowly go mad.
I know she isnt with anyone else, as she stated that during the break we shouldnt see other people for which again I was happy about.
I just dont know what to. Any advise would be gratefully received.
no 138. Be honest and open with your wife about how you feel. What you done may still be on her mind slightly. Be sincere let her know you are there for her and open her up to talk and be safe with you without you taking anything too personal to heart, when she talks. Open communication and express yr love for her, which she may be doubting.
hi my name is shay and ive been dating a guy for 3 years now. after our 3 year anniversary my boyfriend broke up with me or said he wanted to go on break which to him means the same thing.He said he needed to find himself and that he needed to find out what if we were meant to be together. In addition to this he said that if it is meant to be then it is meant to be and we may or may not get back together. He said he loves me and that he will always love me. which confused me.
i was totally crushed. i love him with all my heart and we talked about getting married in the future. its been about a week since the break and people have been tellin me to not contact him. i did try that but im afraid im going to lose him. he still texts me and calls me but its really hard to talk to him and everytime i do talk to him i get sad that wer not together anymore.
Im just stuck right now because i want to be with him so bad but he doesn't want to be with me right now. is he ever going to come back? what do i do? i know that he is the one for me and i love him so much i just don't understand why he is doing this?
ive been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now and have been in an ldr for 2years this is the 2nd year running. recently she sed we should go on a break becuase it is college life and she says we should not look back in the future and regret our life. she truly loves me and says she wants to marry me and that i should never ever leave her.. i too dont want that and was a bit reluctant on taking a break.. is this something i should be worried about?what normally happens during a break? i cant live without her she is my love!!im currently in uk and her in the states.. so we hardly meet only in sumer maybe but yea.what can i do now? i just cant have the thought of her with another guy getting it on or sumthn..what do i do?should i go ahead with thei break?
Hi,
I need some advice. I've been in a relationship for 2 years, proposed by my bf. He was very serious about marrying me immediately at the start, but I was not since i was weighing my other options-career, mom & dad as I just relocated with them aftyer 8 years. But we continued with our relationship as a couple. After a few months when i settled with a good job and with my parents, my bf admitted that the feelings are no longer there as he felt i was very rude, moody and not the kind to settle with him. I was shocked to hear this. I know for a fact that he was not playing around, but I continued with him and tried to change my behaviour which ws not easy. We spoke occassionaly about what we never liked abt each other. Suddenly my dad met with a stroke and he became very supportive, like meeting dad, staying late at the hospital, coming over and understanding my folks, helping me during my accident. I got very impressed by this & our relationship grew stronger. Few months back, I casually joked about me telling his mom about us, which didnt go too well with him. I got furious and behaved rudely with him. After this we didnt keep contact for a month. When i tried to contact him after a month, he would avoid my calls and text messages. Once he answered and angrily told me the feelings are not strong like before and is not sure if he wants a breakup. I was left heartbroken, now its been three months. You think he moved on. I want to be a freind to him, but he avoids me. How long must I wait, what must I do>
Hi all I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. Me and my boyfriend started going out when we were young anf both of us have not dated any other person before. About one and half years ago, my boyfriend said he was really bored of talking to me all the time and that he wanted a break. After a 3 month break he called me and he got back with me. Everything was fine till recently. He says the same thing again now. He says he is bored of me and he has nothing to talk to me anymore and he does not feel like talking to me. We both are in university now. Since i was his first girlfriend, he now wants to take a break and experience other things in life. He says he still loves me and he does not want to fully break up. What should I do ? How long should i wait for him ? He is my first boyfriend and i love him more than anything else. I want to be with him in the future. Please advice. Should i give him some space and wait ?
I'll be blunt as I always am. He says hes bored of talking to you and you don't walk away? It sounds to me like if wants a break from talking to you, or having to at least but doesn't want a complete break. My guess is that he still wants you for 'stuff'. Was it you who came up with the conclusion that because you were his first and he wants to experience new things? Or him? If it was him then he wants you around when HE wants but to also see other people. If it was me.... I wouldn't stand for that... he will soon miss talking to you when you tell him you aren't interested in waiting
Peter
X
Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and a couple of months. Out of nowhere he said I was ignoring him which led into fights. We talked about a lot of options, we both agreed we didn't want to break up. He wanted to take like a 2-3 week break. I agreed. It's only been a couple of days and I already regret it. I told him how I felt and he kept saying it's healthy for couples to take breaks. I just want him back.
Hi Everyone,
I have been dating my girlfriend since my junior year of college (it has been roughly two and 1/2 years). Neither of us have ever been in love this strongly in our life and we have frequently talked about how we can't picture our lives without one another. She just finished her final semester of college, where she was student teaching at a high school in our college town. For the past few weeks I have noticed that she has been very stand-ofish and she even noticed that she was going through a tough time. She has been having a lot of trouble with facing the real-world and the concept of finding a job, potential moving somewhere new, etc. frightens her. Long story short, she thinks it might be better to take a short break and we have decided to not talk to one another to see what it would truely be like without each other. It didn't work at first- we went about three days without speaking and we had to talk to one another about how we were feeling. She says shes just going through a very difficult time in her life- she sits at home and applies for jobs all day while all her friends and myself work in a big city nearby. She just needs time to think about her life. I told her I want what is best for her and we agreed we needed to take this break more seriously. After an hour long conversation expressing our feelings of love,etc. towards one another we said our goodbyes for the time being. We're both going to take some time and analyze our lifes and truely get the feel for what it would be like without each other. From an outsiders perspective where do you see this headed?
Also, we have never been in any sort of prolonged fights or arguements over the past two and a half years. This just came out of the blue throughout the past few weeks.
I(21) have been in my relationship( first relationship and hers too) with my girl for about 3 years. My girlfriend(19) told me that she doesnt feel the same about me anymore, that her feelings has lowered and have been that way for about a year. In her words, the spark is missing, the intense feelings that she use to have are no longer there and therefore, no butterflies anymore, she has been considereing leaving the realtionship based on this. A little Background...she felt like i didnt apprieciate her becuase i would put her down eveytime she did something i thought was stupid or when she would be very messy and lazy. I would go off on her and says things like she was stupid and doesnt think before she acts. She never told me how much it devastated her when i would do that. She bottled it up and was preparing for the worst for about a year becuase of it. I failed to see it myself until she told me(which was all recently... Anyways, She told me that about a year she has been curious as to how it will be to be single. That she had been flirting and dancing with other guys behind my back and stuff. She still wants to be friends and that she wouldnt even mind being friends with only benefits. She mentioned that she doesnt want to jump into another relationship but to live a young single life then come back to me becuase she said she is sure that I am the one she wants to be with and has always been sure of that. About 2 months ago she cheated on my thats how I found all this out she told me everything?? Her feelings and about the cheating. Were still together today and she says her feeling are growing stronger for me and that she is set on me and wants to make things right with us, no more firlting with other guys and the curious thing is fading and of course no CHEATING. I dont really beleive all that(becuase i guess i wating for to do something to help have faith in this change in her) and I am worried that down the road her feelings will drop down again. Also her friends are bad influences on her, they encourage her to fool around with other guys, and to be single like themselves(she's choosing to still hang around them too knowing that and how I feel about them)...My heart is a like a raging hurricane right now sometimes I feel like punching her in the face and other times giving her the world and more. My feelings are not the same anymore becuase of all this and now I am considering termination of what seems like a waste of 3 years.
1.Do I take back this cheater?
2.Is there a good chance she will do all this again, with the feelings and cheating?
3.Should we take a break or end it all together?
4. What signs should I look for if she is not sincere in this second chance?
5. Eventhough she says she has always been sur that I am the one, how can she do what she did and feel the way she felt if I am her true love as she claims?
I have been dating my boyfriend just shy of one year. He told me two days ago that he needs a break. He has been unhappy the past couple of weeks. He is working long hours and to be honest, we don't have time to see each other during the week. The past few weeks have been difficult as well due to our conflicting work schedules. This has caused us to argue and pick fights for the past three weeks. I have never believed in breaks. I told him a break was just a nice way to break up. Well, not that we are broken up I am devastated. He has texted me for the past three days. He said he was just worried about me. Then he made dinner plans with me for this Saturday and the following Friday. Why is he doing this? I do want to be with him more than anything. I just want for him to make up his mind. Does he want to be with me or not? I know without a doubt there has been no cheating. It's just stress that's been a recent strain on our relationship. How long do I wait for him to make up his mind about if he wants to stay with me or continue to be broken up?
Hi,
I have just initiated a break with my boyfriend of over a year. He and I have been happy for the longest but I feel like everything I do, at this point, revolves around him. I am just finishing up my first year of college and he works a lot so there are time conflicts between us. I brought up the need for a break because I have been feeling rather neglected lately. He will make plans with me and simply not show up and let me know he can't make it AFTER the time of our date has already passed and i'm sitting around dressed and ready to go. It just makes me feel like I don't matter and he has a lot of other personal things on his plate as well. I seems as though I keep getting lower and lower on his list of priorities. He is my first EVERYTHING, but most of all he's my first and Only love. I have just become so attached to him and scared to be without him in my life. As if we are meant to be together. He says that he wants to be with me in the same way I do...to the point of marriage, but he has a lot more experience than me, even though he's only a year older than me. I have barely begun to see what this world is like on my own, but I can't imagine exploring it without him, however I know this isn't the case fore him. I told him how I was feeling and that we both have a lot to do lately so we could both use some time to think. I specified taking two weeks with no communication. I suppose I was just hoping that he would miss me and realize that he would rather change some of these simple habits than loose me. So I really want to know...am I crazy? Or might this break be able to possibly save us?
Thank you, and I sorry for the long message. I just really feel like I need us to work :)