Dating can be pretty darned funny - in fact, there are whole sitcoms dedicated to all the stupid choices we make in romance. One person's romantic regrets become another's hilarious half hour. But even while we're laughing, most of us recognize (and fear) the bad decisions that we see others make in fiction and in life. Because all of us have made some terrible decisions of our own - decisions that we will always regret.
When you're single, meeting people can be incredibly frustrating. It's just so hard to meet the kind of people that interest you. Going to the bar seems pointless and clichéd. Your friends have already tried to hook you up with all their "you're going to love this guy" or "this girl is totally hot" friends. And speed dating seems like a silly waste of time.
Some women only go after that strutting, slick-haired man, oozing over with confidence and masculinity. Fortunately for the many women who fawn over him, this kind of man makes the whole "I'm interested" thing easy. Want to get him to talk to you? All it takes is a glance and a smile.
Sometimes romantic relationships are clear as glass. You see each other, feel a mutual interest, go on a date, and sit back as things take off from there. There's never much ambiguity about what your romantic intentions are for each other. And while that easy clarity is always nice, unfortunately you don't always get it. Especially when you develop romantic feeling for a friend, a friend of a friend, or a long-time acquaintance, it can be difficult to tell when the relationship shifts.
You go out on a few dates, and each one is better than the last. You talk together, laugh together, share some mutual interests, and seem to share a mutual attraction. The relationship is beginning to take off, it seems, and you're just starting to feel that little spark of excitement in your belly: this one might just work out.
While keeping a relationship going is certainly tough, I think people who are in steady relationships too-easily forget how hard it is for people without relationship. They (okay, "we" - I do it, too) look back and only remember that dating is fun, and forget how hard it is to go on a first date. We forget about that first-date pressure to fill all the awkward silences. The frantic need to prove that we're charming while also showing that we're interested in our date. How is it possible to forget how difficult all that is?
Dating Myth 1: You'll find that special someone when you least expect to.
You know this one. You've heard this from countless well-meaning aunts and old family friends when you complain about your love life. They touch your arm sweetly and say, "don't worry, honey! As soon as you stop looking..." And you want to return their gentle touch with something a little...less gentle.
Deep down, we all know that dating somebody who is already married is a bad, horrible, idiotic idea. But we do it anyway! And when we're in the throes of a new relationship - especially a deliciously illicit one - it can be difficult to remember why it's such a bad idea. You're just having a bit of fun, after all. Right?
Do you know even one professional person who feels completely fulfilled by his or her career, and doesn't feel the need for anything more? Probably not. Because no matter how busy, how successful, or how ambitious you might be, it doesn't mean that you don't care about finding love. Most of the time, anyway.
Dating is supposed to be fun, right? You meet new people, do new things, have new conversations...but the truth is, all that "new" can get old pretty quickly. Especially when you've been single for a long time. Sound familiar? You may just have dating fatigue.
