Sometimes relationships end with a bang. Somebody cheats or makes a grave mistake, and a knock-down, drag-out fight ends the relationship for you. But other times, relationships go out with barely a whisper - and you can hardly tell it's happening at all. These sorts of relationships can sometimes be the hardest and most painful to end. Because when we're in what we think of as a "comfortable" relationship, it can be difficult to acknowledge that, comfortable or not, the relationship isn't working...and that it's time to move on.
Finding a romantic relationship is like a job all its own. You have to be confident and persistent. You have to work hard and not let disappointment slow you down. You even have to research the best dating venues, like online dating sites or singles groups. The whole thing can be exhausting. Which is why the idea of looking for a romantic relationship at work is so appealing. You're already there and you're already working...why not try to find a boyfriend or girlfriend while you're at it?
Dating can be pretty darned funny - in fact, there are whole sitcoms dedicated to all the stupid choices we make in romance. One person's romantic regrets become another's hilarious half hour. But even while we're laughing, most of us recognize (and fear) the bad decisions that we see others make in fiction and in life. Because all of us have made some terrible decisions of our own - decisions that we will always regret.
When you're single, meeting people can be incredibly frustrating. It's just so hard to meet the kind of people that interest you. Going to the bar seems pointless and clichéd. Your friends have already tried to hook you up with all their "you're going to love this guy" or "this girl is totally hot" friends. And speed dating seems like a silly waste of time.
Some women only go after that strutting, slick-haired man, oozing over with confidence and masculinity. Fortunately for the many women who fawn over him, this kind of man makes the whole "I'm interested" thing easy. Want to get him to talk to you? All it takes is a glance and a smile.
Sometimes romantic relationships are clear as glass. You see each other, feel a mutual interest, go on a date, and sit back as things take off from there. There's never much ambiguity about what your romantic intentions are for each other. And while that easy clarity is always nice, unfortunately you don't always get it. Especially when you develop romantic feeling for a friend, a friend of a friend, or a long-time acquaintance, it can be difficult to tell when the relationship shifts.
You go out on a few dates, and each one is better than the last. You talk together, laugh together, share some mutual interests, and seem to share a mutual attraction. The relationship is beginning to take off, it seems, and you're just starting to feel that little spark of excitement in your belly: this one might just work out.
Think back to the times in your life when you were happiest, or having the most fun. If you're like me, your happiest times were probably also your simplest. They didn't require large amounts of money or effort to make them happen - they just did. When you think about it, it's actually a little ironic. The best things in life are free, yet we work so hard to make our dates perfect, planned...and expensive. Don't we want the "best things" for our dates?
While keeping a relationship going is certainly tough, I think people who are in steady relationships too-easily forget how hard it is for people without relationship. They (okay, "we" - I do it, too) look back and only remember that dating is fun, and forget how hard it is to go on a first date. We forget about that first-date pressure to fill all the awkward silences. The frantic need to prove that we're charming while also showing that we're interested in our date. How is it possible to forget how difficult all that is?
Dating Myth 1: You'll find that special someone when you least expect to.
You know this one. You've heard this from countless well-meaning aunts and old family friends when you complain about your love life. They touch your arm sweetly and say, "don't worry, honey! As soon as you stop looking..." And you want to return their gentle touch with something a little...less gentle.
